


The fundamental force of attraction

by slowdancing (carmenaudrey)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Agoraphobia, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Angst, Bad Communication, Dirty Talk, Friends With Benefits, Graduate School, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Oral Sex, PhD student, Physics, Please use condoms in real life, Seoul, Shower Sex, Smut, Sort Of, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unprotected Sex, bad with relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23337292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmenaudrey/pseuds/slowdancing
Summary: The Four Fundamental Forces of Nature are Gravitational force, Weak Nuclear force, Electromagnetic force and Strong Nuclear force; but Jaemin's pretty sure that there is an undiscovered Fifth Force that is placing Renjun in the center of his universe.By the skin of his teeth, struggling student Na Jaemin managed to get into the Physics PhD program at the prestigious Seoul University. However as part of his studies Jaemin must work with the brilliant yet infuriating Dr Hunag Renjun. After spending more and more time together, Jaemin began to look past Dr Huang's eccentric nature and learn more about the world than ever before.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 72
Kudos: 228





	1. The start of something new

“Oi, can you stop staring at your phone for five minutes and help me with these damn dishes?”

Jaemin looked up from his phone to find his roommate glaring at him. It would almost be scary if Jeno wasn’t wearing rubber kitchen gloves and holding a sponge. Jeno always liked to act tough but could never quite pull it off; his clumsy demeanour and eye smiles giving him away almost immediately. Jaemin never did understand how he could get so many girls to go out with him.

“But Jeno you know that today’s the final day the physics department announces their PhD candidates. I know two people who got their acceptance email weeks ago. If I don’t get one today I’ll have to wait another year to apply again.” Jaemin looked down at his phone wishing for a notification to appear.

“Well constantly refreshing your email won’t change that” said Jeno. He then softened his tone, “you’re going to get in Jaem”. Jaemin smiled glumly as Jeno patted him on the back for encouragement.

“Thanks man” Jaemin replied, not feeling any better. He placed his phone down on the counter, picked up a dish towel and began helping Jeno with the dishes.

“Jeez I don’t remember using any of this shit” Jaemin realised.

Jeno nodded in joint annoyance. “It’s pretty much all Haechan’s. He uses a bunch of dishes and then goes and stays with Mark before I can yell at him to clean them.”

“Why don’t we just leave them until he gets back?” Jaemin asked.

“Because then we’ll have nothing to eat off of Na Jaemin” Jeno practically yelled at him. “Plus I have a girl coming over tonight and I don’t want this place to look any more disgusting than it already does.”

“Dude a heads up would’ve been nice. You’re lucky I have work at the lab tonight.”

Jeno just shrugged his shoulders and continued scrubbing the plate he was holding, clearly not caring about Jaemin’s suffering whenever he brought a girl home. There was only so many times Jaemin could listen to his roommate having sex before he snapped and smothered Jeno with a pillow. He was about to threaten Jeno with something along those lines when he heard a small whistling sound come from his phone.

Jaemin and Jeno looked at each other straight away. “Was that…” Jeno began.

“My email notification?” Jaemin finished. “Yeah”

“Well go look at it” Jeno urged.

Slowly Jaemin put down the dish towel and reached over the counter for his phone. He could see the email notification showing that the sender was from his university’s physics department.

“Shit, it’s from them” he blurted out.

“Open it!” Jeno urged again.

Jaemin’s heart was doing its best to burst out of his chest as he swiped his phone open. He read and reread the email multiple times; not speaking, not blinking, not even breathing.

_Dear Mr Na Jaemin_

_I am pleased to inform you that you are successful in your application to become a PhD student here at Seoul University. Congratulations on all your hard work leading up to this point. Please come meet me in my office tomorrow at 1pm to discuss the specifics of your candidacy and where to go from here. Please prepare any questions you may have for me._

_Regards_

_Dr Bae Joohyun_

_PhD coordinator for the faculty of physics at Seoul University_

“Well?” cried out an exasperated Jeno, clearly desperate to know the result.

Jaemin’s head snapped up. He had completely forgotten Jeno was there. “I got in” he said meekly, still not comprehending the news.

Jeno ran over to him and gave him a hug. “Well done man, I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks” Jaemin breathed out, still in shock. “I honestly don’t know what to do with myself now.”

“Call your mother, she’ll want to know” suggested Jeno. “Haechan too. He’ll tell everyone else for you.”

“Good point” hummed Jaemin. He picked up the dish towel and went back to the dishes, still needing some time to collect his thoughts. Five long years of study at South Korea’s best university had allowed him to reach a point he never really thought he would get to. Now all he had to do was not fuck it up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

At exactly 1pm Jaemin knocked on the door to the office of Dr Bae Joohyun. He barely got two knocks in before an assertive voice called for him to enter. Dr Bae’s office was neat and professional. Folders were labelled (and seemingly colour-coded) and arranged neatly in bookshelves. The desk was placed on the far side of the room with nothing but a laptop and a few succulents sitting on top. Dr Bae was sitting upright at her desk, mirroring the professionalism she was surrounded by.

“Jaemin, it’s nice to see you again. Please come sit down.” She gestured towards the chair opposite to her.

Jaemin had only met Dr Bae once; at the interview which was part of his PhD application process. He remembered her being friendly enough but also highly scrutinising. “Thanks” he mumbled as he sat down.

“Congratulations on your successful application” Dr Bae said with a smile. She reached down to her left and pulled some papers from her desk drawer. “However I’m afraid we might have some problems with the field of work you’re trying to pursue.”

“Really?” Jaemin was confused. “I know my proposal was for pursuing a mathematical explanation for the virtual particles in an electron field and their effect on electron shape, but I also said that I would be happy to do supporting research for a professor providing that they were working in the field of theoretical physics.”

Dr Bae smiled sympathetically. “Well both of those things are unfortunately problematic at the moment. You need an appropriate person to be able to closely supervise your work and I don’t think we have anyone. We only have two professors working in the field of theoretical physics at this university: Dr Müller and Dr Huang. The most obvious choice for you would have been Dr Müller but he already has too many PhD students as it is, he can’t take on another one.”

Jaemin’s shoulders slumped. He’d had a class taught by Dr Müller last year during his Master’s degree and seen him on multiple other occasions as a guest lecturer. He was a nice man and Jaemin had been hoping to have him as a supervisor. “Okay well then how about Dr Huang?” Unlike Dr Müller, Jaemin had never seen Dr Huang before but he had read plenty of his papers throughout his studies.

Dr Bae sighed deeply. “Renjun, Dr Huang, is a bit of a handful. Our university headhunted him after he finished his Masters degree in China. He does amazing work and brings lots of prestige to this university, but he never takes on students and refuses to teach any classes.”

Jaemin furrowed his brows, “Why?”

“He’s a recluse” Dr Bae explained. “He doesn’t even use his office here. He does all his work at home and does his best to see people face-to-face as little as possible. He’s a genius, but he’s also young and arrogant. I’m afraid the likelihood of him taking you as a student is close to zero.”

Jaemin breathed deeply. “Okay well then what are my other options?”

“You could change the field you want to do. Maybe do your doctorate in experimental physics instead?”

Jaemin shook his head. “I’m much better with just the math. I’m not very creative when it comes to physical experiments. I would have a hard time of it.”

“Well you could wait another year until some of Dr Müller’s other students have finished their theses. I’ll make sure that you get the first position available.”

Jaemin shook his head again. He’d gotten accepted but he was still going to have to wait another year? That was unacceptable to him. He looked straight a Dr Bae, “Can I have Dr Huang’s number? I can at least try to get him to take me on.”

Dr Bae was clearly surprised. “He usually doesn’t answer his phone.”

“Can I have his address then? You said he usually works from home.” Jaemin was getting more and more desperate.

“Okay” Dr Bae said as she got out a slip of paper and started writing an address on it. “After you talk to him send me an email on how you’d like to proceed from here.” She handed Jaemin the paper.

“Thanks” he said as he received it. “I’ll be going now.” He bowed and walked to the door.

“Jaemin” Dr Bae called out, stopping him in his tracks. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

‘She’s probably just exaggerating’ Jaemin told himself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaemin was already infuriated at Dr Huang and he hadn’t even seen his face yet.

He had gone straight from Dr Bae’s office to the address she had given him, and found himself outside of a rather nice-looking apartment building. After buzzing the intercom a few times a cranky voice had shouted at him to “fuck off” before somehow disabling the intercom altogether. Luckily Jaemin hadn’t given up so easily and managed to slip into the building behind a delivery man a few minutes later.

Now Jaemin was outside Dr Huang’s door, trying to get him to open up and talk to him. Jaemin’s door knocking had gone from polite and gentle to axe-murderer on a killing spree. He could hear Dr Huang in there shuffling about but he was just ignoring him.

After what seemed like five minutes of persistent knocking, Jaemin finally heard the door lock being unlatched and saw the door open.

“Who are you and what the hell do you want?”

Jaemin took in the sight of Dr Huang. He was short and slender with very pale skin and unkempt hair. His clothes were frumpy and obviously unwashed. His face was actually quite pretty but was completely marred by the foul expression he was hurling Jaemin’s way.

Jaemin looked him dead in the eye. “Hello Dr Huang, my name is Na Jaemin. I’m a physics student at Seoul University.” He held his hand out for a handshake.

“Yeah, what do you want?” Dr Huang didn’t shake his hand, so Jaemin let in fall by his side.

“I’ve just been accepted to do my PhD and I wanted to do it in theoretical physics, but I need a supervisor within that area so…”

Dr Huang cut him off. “Ask Müller to do it, I’m busy.” He began to shut the door.

“No wait!” Jaemin slammed his hand on the door to prevent Dr Huang from closing it. “Dr Müller already has too many students, there’s no room for me. You’re my only other option.”

Realising that Jaemin wasn’t going to let him shut it, Dr Huang stepped away from the door and walking further into his apartment. Jaemin took that as a cue that he could come inside. He got a weird look from Dr Huang but wasn’t asked to get out. ‘I’m making progress’ he thought optimistically.

Dr Huang’s apartment looked like a pile of trash. You could see the outlines of what once was a nice kitchen and living room now drowned in Dr Huang’s life. Whiteboards were scattered all around the room, each covered with scribbles and formulas. Stacks of paper almost waist high were littered around on the floor and tables. Empty takeout food containers were everywhere and the sink was stacked with what looked like a hundred coffee mugs. The room was dim with unnatural light and block-out curtains covered all the windows. Dr Bae was certainly correct about him being a recluse. Jaemin wanted to sit somewhere but couldn’t find a spot in all the mess, so he just stood awkwardly as Dr Huang struggled to find himself a clean mug in the kitchen.

“Please Dr Huang” Jaemin said walking up to him, “I’m happy to compose a thesis that will help assist the research you’re doing. I could be very helpful to you.”

“What makes you think you’re qualified to even do that?” Dr Huang had given up searching for a mug and just stared Jaemin down.

“I have my academic transcript and Master’s thesis here in you would like to look at them.” Jaemin reached into his satchel and pulled out a small folder. He held it out for Dr Huang to take, which he reluctantly did.

Dr Huang started looking at his transcript first. “Your grades vary wildly, don’t they?” he said with a smirk.

Jaemin winced a little, it was always something that had bothered him and was probably the reason why the university accepted his PhD application later than everyone else. “I have scholarships from the university but they don’t cover everything, so I’ve had to work throughout my studies. That can make the workload a bit difficult sometimes.”

Dr Huang nodded, not looking up at him. “I imagine most of the students you’re up against are there on their parents’ money and haven’t worked a day in their life.”

“Yeah” said Jaemin, surprised by the comment. “My GPA still turned out okay though so I’m fine with it.”

Dr Huang hummed in acknowledgement and flipped through to Jaemin’s thesis. He only read a little before he snapped the folder shut and handed it back to Jaemin. “I don’t need to read any more.”

Jaemin took the folder back and felt rather defeated. “You know you could at least read it. I’m a good mathematician and creative as hell when it comes to theoretical physics; and you would see that if you read my work. I know you have a genius complex where you think everyone is beneath you, and I probably am, but that doesn’t mean we can’t help each other.” Jaemin expected Dr Huang to kick him out this time, but he couldn’t hold in his frustrations.

Rather than scream at him to leave, Dr Huang just coughed slightly and said “I don’t need to read your work because I’ve already read it.”

“What?” asked a stunned Jaemin, completely rooted in place.

“I’ve already read it” reiterated Dr Huang. “You got it published in the International Journal of Theoretical and Mathematical Physics at the beginning of the year, didn’t you? I thought it was an interesting piece. Sorry I didn’t recognise your name before.”

“Oh” Jaemin blinked a few times, trying to get his body to move again. “You thought it was interesting?”

“Yes I did” confirmed Dr Huang. “You had a few blaring oversights I must say, though that’s not your fault. They should have picked that up in the peer-review process and rejected you. But it was interesting none the less.”

“Well thanks I guess.” Jaemin was taking whatever he could get at that point.

“Come over tomorrow afternoon, we’ll work out what you can do for your doctoral thesis then.”

Jaemin’s eyes lit up. “So you’re going to become my supervisor?” he asked excitedly.

Renjun nodded. “But this better be worth my while, I’ve got no time to be concerned with a student. You better be able to handle most of this yourself.”

“Absolutely” assured Jaemin. “I’ll see you here tomorrow.”

Instead of saying goodbye Dr Huang just turned back around and continued searching for a clean mug. Jaemin just rolled his eyes and left the apartment. Once outside he breathed a sigh of relief. He’d done it, he could begin to complete his doctorate and be on the road to starting a good career.

Now he just had to figure out how to work with someone so intolerable.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaemin was feeling pretty stressed after meeting Dr Huang, so when Haechan texted Jaemin to ask him to come the bar they often frequented it was an easy yes.

“Hey congrats on getting into the PhD program” Haechan said excitedly as Jaemin slipped into the booth he and Mark were occupying. Mark also expressed his congratulations.

Jaemin signalled the bartender, Charlie, to get him his usual beer. “Thanks but I’m kind of wishing I didn’t.”

The couple looked confused. “Why, what happened?” asked Mark.

“I only want to explain this once; can we wait till Jeno’s here?” Jaemin was sick of reliving his nightmare.

“Its fine” Haechan said, “he just walked in.”

Jeno looked like he had a bad day too if his expression was anything to go by. He immediately went up to the bar and ordered a shot of something clear, which he downed as soon as it was handed to him. Charlie then handed him two beers, pointing to Jaemin after he handed them to him.

Jeno walked up to their booth and handed Jaemin one of the beers before sliding in next to him. “I’ve had the shittiest day at work” he huffed out before taking a giant swig.

“Really? We couldn’t tell” Haechan said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Jeno narrowed his eyes at him. “Hey Haechan, next time you go to Mark’s for an undeserved sex-cation, try doing your fucking dishes first.”

The punch didn’t slow Haechan down one bit. “Someone’s jealous that I’m getting laid.”

“Please I got laid last night, its Jaemin that’s not getting laid.” Jeno brushed Haechan off.

“Why bring me into this?” Jaemin asked annoyed. “Also I get laid…sometimes” he mumbled the last word.

“Oh yeah, when?” Haechan was determined to tease someone tonight.

“Can we not talk about this right now?” Jaemin tried to change the subject. “Jeno, what happened at work?”

Jeno was a physiotherapist for the baseball team the Doosan Bears. His main job was to help with the rehabilitation of injured players. It was a job he loved but could often leave him angry because of the players’ actions.

Jeno sighed heavily. “There’s this one guy whose shoulder injury isn’t healing as quick as it should. Like it seemed to be doing really well until a week ago when his performance shot back down again, and now I’ve found out today that it’s because he went drinking with his buddies and tripped over his own feet. So I confronted him about it and them he starts blaming me for not doing my job properly and I’m the reason why he hasn’t been able to play a game again. What the fuck am I meant to do? Babysit him all day long so he doesn’t do anything stupid?”

“Sounds tough” said Mark. “What happened with your shitty day Jaemin? I wonder if you can beat Jeno.” Haechan laughed with Mark before snuggling deeper into his arms. The other two were less amused.

Jeno turned away from the gross couple and focused on Jaemin. “You had a bad day too? I thought you had a meeting with the PhD coordinator.”

“I did” said Jaemin after taking a gulp of his beer. “There are only two theoretical physicists at my university, and one of them already has too many students to take me on as well.”

“So?” asked Haechan. “You can just go with the other one right?”

Jaemin shook his head. “The other one, Dr Huang, is an arrogant asshole who never leaves his apartment. He never works with PhD students so I had to go to his apartment and beg him to take me on. After he insulted me several times I somehow managed to convince him. He’s lucky I want this so bad otherwise I would have punched him in his surprisingly attractive face.”

“He was really that bad huh?” Jeno sympathised.

Jaemin took another swig of beer. “The worst part is now I have to work with the guy. I barely managed to spend two minutes with him today, how am I meant to spend any significant amount of time with him?”

“I don’t know maybe you could just stare at his surprising attractive face some more” offered Haechan. Jaemin just glared at him.

“Guys what do I do?” Jaemin whined.

“You just have to focus on the outcome” explained Mark. “Remember last year when I did my medical internship? The only thing that got me through it was the knowledge that by the end of it I would finally be a doctor.”

Haechan smiled widely. “My boyfriend’s a doctor” he said proudly and gave Mark a kiss on the cheek.

“Yes we’re all very proud of Mark and his ability to compensate Haechan’s meagre income as a failed musician.” Jeno rolled his eyes.

“Hey!” cried Haechan. “I have a gig this weekend at the jazz club.”

“It is paid this time?” Jaemin smirked.

“Yes” Haechan sneered back.

Jaemin stopped his teasing and became more thoughtful. “You’re right Mark. I just need to think of Dr Huang as a means to an end.”

“That’s the spirit” encouraged Jeno. “And if you still hate his guts by the end of the day then we’ll just bring you here and get you nice and drunk.”

Jaemin rolled his eyes. “Great, I’m going to become an alcoholic.”


	2. Only believing what can be seen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone hope you're having a good week so far. There's a bit of physics jargon in this chapter so I thought I would explain it. It doesn't really matter for the story but I thought some of you might want to know.  
> Large Hadron Collider - The world's largest and most powerful particle accelerator. It is located in the particle physics laboratory CERN (in Switzerland).  
> Fundamental particles - Particles associated with the four fundamental forces of nature: electromagnetism, gravity, and the strong and weak nuclear forces. Though a particle associated with gravity has not been discovered, many theorectical physicists believe that one exists.  
> Gravitons - The name of the theorised fundamental particle associated with gravity. Though it is theorectically possible to create gravitons in the Large Hadron Collider, physicists have not yet come up with a way to stop gravitons from leaving our dimension immediately after they are created (and therefore giving no opportunity for them to be studied).  
> Photons - The particle associated with electromagnetic force.

It was mid-afternoon and Jaemin was back at Dr Huang’s apartment building. Crossing his fingers that Dr Huang had enabled his intercom again, Jaemin buzzed it. After four tries Dr Huang finally picked up. “Who the fuck is this?”

Jaemin rolled his eyes. “It’s Na Jaemin. You told me to come over today.”

“I told you to come in the afternoon” the speaker yelled at him.

Jaemin huffed, “It _is_ the afternoon.”

There was a long pause before he heard an “Oh, you’re right. Come on up.”

As Jaemin made his way up to the apartment he tried to remember the mindfulness exercises Jeno had taught him once. He knocked on Dr Huang’s door three times before an annoyed voice from within yelled “It’s open”.

Even though Jaemin had seen the inside of Dr Huang’s home yesterday, it still shocked him. He couldn’t understand how a person could function in this environment or produce such a high quality of work. Dr Huang was standing away from Jaemin in front of a whiteboard, frantically scribbling something down.

“Hello Dr Huang” he said politely.

Dr Huang didn’t turn to face him. “Yeah yeah, sit down so we can get started.”

Jaemin glanced around the apartment for places to sit. The couches were covered in dirty clothes and random notebooks. The coffee table had takeout containers piled on top of it, creating some sort of deformed pyramid. The dining room table and the surrounding chairs were all covered in stacks of loose paper.

“Where?” Jaemin said incredulously.

“What do you mean?” Dr Huang turned around this time.

Jaemin gestured to the entire apartment. “Where am I meant to sit? Should we go to your bedroom and sit on your bed, or is that covered in crap too?” Jaemin was scared that his fuse was already this short.

Dr Huang blinked slowly a few times before times before annoyance spread across his face. “Crap?” he exclaimed. “This _crap_ will amount to more scientific discovery than you will produce in your entire life.”

“Yeah it looks like the months’ worth of takeout containers and dirty clothes are really contributing lots to the scientific community. Seriously the least you could do is tidy up a bit before you have people over.”

“This is why I don’t have people over” grumbled Dr Huang. “Fine I’ll put some of the clothes in my bedroom.” He threw his marker down by the whiteboard and grabbed a huge pile of clothes from the couch, creating a small space for Jaemin to sit. Dr Huang scurried of for a moment before returning.

“Now let’s talk about some things you could be working on that will both help me and contribute to your doctorate.” Dr Huang said as he pushed the pile of takeout containers onto the floor and sat on the coffee table in front of Jaemin. He apparently didn’t notice the look of utter disbelief on Jaemin’s face. “I’m currently developing mathematical simulations that would prevent gravitons from rapidly disappearing into other dimensions once created in the Large Hadron Collider; which as I’m sure you know, is integral in proving many of my theories.”

“Yes I’m familiar with your work and your belief in the existence of gravitons” Jaemin replied calmly.

“Oh, you don’t believe in their existence?” questioned Dr Huang condescendingly.

“I neither believe nor disbelieve in their existence” said Jaemin, not appreciating Dr Huang’s tone. “It’s a hypothesis, nothing has been proven. As scientists shouldn’t we wait for the evidence and base our beliefs off that?”

Dr Huang scoffed. “Though the evidence for gravitons is limited it is the natural conclusion to come to. What else do you propose is analogous to photons?”

“I don’t propose anything” Jaemin stated. “I shall wait for more evidence.”

“Right there is your problem” Dr Huang pointed directly at him. “Even if there is limited evidence you need to know where you stand. It doesn’t matter if you end up right or wrong; throughout your endeavours you need a driving force, and that starts with a hypothesis. If we are going to work together you need to be educated enough to have an opinion on _everything_. If you can’t hypothesise whether gravitons exist or not, despite having read my work, then you have no hope of completing your PhD.”

“Fine, you want me to have an opinion on everything?” Jaemin asked frustrated.

“Yes. Trust me, it will help you.”

“Your apartment’s a shithole.”

Dr Huang narrowed his eyes. “You better watch it. I’m doing you a great service by having you here.”

“Look if we just went to your office at the university we could actually sit and go through your work at a table.” Jaemin tried to reason with him.

“No can do. At the university too many people try to…” he shuddered, “…talk to me. Also none of my current work is digital and would be too cumbersome to transport.”

“None of your work is digital?” Jaemin questioned. “Why?”

“It’s too risky; someone might hack me and steal all my ideas” Dr Huang stated completely seriously. Jaemin added paranoia to his mental list of things wrong with Dr Huang.

“So where is it all?” Jaemin asked. He couldn’t see any sort of filing system anywhere.

Dr Huang simply motioned to the kitchen table and the giant stacks of paper on top of it.

“There?!” Jaemin was utterly shocked. “How the hell do you know where everything is?”

“I have an eidetic memory” said Dr Huang. “I can remember exactly where every page is.”

Jaemin gawked at him. “Well if we’re going to work together then we need to have some sort of filing system.”

Dr Huang scowled at him. “I agreed to be your supervisor. I didn’t agree to you coming in here and messing everything up.”

“Dr Huang this _is_ a mess. We would be cleaning up the mess and making it organised. Besides it will make it easier to explain your work to me if we’re filing all of your ideas. I’ll be able to thoroughly look at everything you’ve done so far.” Jaemin was impressed with himself for staying so calm and collected.

Dr Huang kept his scowl but relented to Jaemin’s wishes. “Fine, but don’t expect me to do any organising. I’ll just be explaining the research.”

Jaemin sighed; he didn’t expect part of his PhD to include cleaning his supervisor’s apartment. “Okay whatever. Just reimburse me for all the folders I buy.” Jaemin checked his watch. “I have work soon so we can do this tomorrow; it will probably take a while.”

Dr Huang nodded. “You can let yourself in from now on. The building code in 449753 and there’s a front door key blue-tacked to the top of the door frame. It’s so tiresome to buzz you in all the time.”

“Okay” Jaemin said slowly, a little taken aback. “Well I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodbye Dr Huang.” He got up from the couch and started leaving. As he got to the door Dr Huang called out to him.

“Also call me Renjun from now on. It’s weird for you to call me Dr Huang when we’re so close in age.”

Jaemin turned back around to face him. He’d figured a man as arrogant as Dr Huang would love people using his title; particularly a subordinate. Nevertheless he was appreciative of the gesture. “Alright, goodbye Renjun.”

As Jaemin left the building he couldn’t help but worry about maintaining a working relationship with someone so erratic. ‘Just take it one day at a time’ he told himself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaemin knocked politely on Renjun’s door at 11am the next day holding two giant bags of folders, tabs, dividers and other organisational devices. After knocking a few times, Jaemin decided to forgo social convention and just let himself in as Renjun had instructed. Feeling across the slim edge of the top of the door frame, Jaemin found the key and proceeded to unlock the door.

Renjun had not taken Jaemin’s suggestions to clean up at all. The takeout containers, clothes and dirty dishes were exactly where they had been yesterday; except each with new additions. Jaemin wasn’t a clean freak but this was really beginning to get to him. He threw his bags down on the floor and went to look for Renjun. As he moved through the apartment Jaemin found a bathroom, an office (that was also completely covered in stacks of loose paper) and a laundry. There was a room with a door closed at the end of the hall.

‘Must be his bedroom’ he thought. He softly knocked on the door, “Renjun, its Jaemin. I’m here to start working.”

After not getting a response Jaemin slowly pushed the door open and peered inside. At first he just saw what looked like a small bundle of blankets in the middle of a bed; however the bundle began to move after he stepped inside the room. With the dim lighting that came from the hall, Jaemin could see a tiny demon appear from underneath the blankets.

“Get out!” it yelled at him with its sunken eyes and cloud of darkness.

Jaemin bolted out of the room and gently closed the door behind him. He really should have seen this coming. Renjun wasn’t a functioning adult so of course he wouldn’t be up at a reasonable hour.

Jaemin couldn’t start filing Renjun’s papers without him there, so he decided to do some cleaning to get on his good side. Jaemin grabbed and handful of dirty clothes from the couch and took them to the laundry; throwing them in the washing machine. He then moved on to the takeout containers; placing them all into trash bags and throwing them into the garbage chute. It was 12:15 by the time he heard Renjun’s bedroom door open; in which time he had also done two more loads of laundry, washed up the sink full of dirty mugs and swept the overly dusty floor. The apartment still looked very messy, but Jaemin was satisfied with the improvement. For sure it would get him on Renjun’s good side.

Renjun walked out into the living room wearing pyjamas two sizes too big and with his hair sticking up in all different directions. He noticed Jaemin but didn’t acknowledge him. In his sleepy haze he glanced all out his apartment and his expression turned sour. “You touched my stuff.”

Jaemin just couldn’t win with this guy. “I cleaned. Your apartment looks one hundred times better and is one thousand times less likely to attract vermin. You’re welcome.”

“Where are all my clothes?” Renjun asked staring at his now empty couch.

“You’ll find clean and dry clothes in the laundry” Jaemin answered.

Renjun then stared at his sink. “Where are my coffee mugs?”

“They’re in your cupboard. They’re clean too.”

“Okay. Why are you here?” Renjun’s expression had turned even sourer.

Jaemin took a calming breath before letting himself answer. “I’m here because today we are going through your research together. I said to you yesterday that I was going to come over and file everything so we could both be able to find things.”

“No I remember that” Renjun snarled. “Why the fuck are you here so _early_?”

“It’s the middle of the day” Jaemin retorted, equally as aggressive. “Excuse me for thinking that a genius such as yourself would be awake at a reasonable hour.” Jaemin made sure his voice was dripping in so much sarcasm that even a socially inept person like Renjun would be able to detect it.

Jaemin really liked how gobsmacked he could make Renjun.

Once Renjun managed to get over what Jaemin had said, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and started calling someone.

“What? Are you calling the police on me?” Jaemin chuckled.

“No, Chinese delivery” Renjun corrected. “You like tangsuyuk?”

Jaemin was surprised. “I’m more of a jajangmyeon person” he answered.

Renjun nodded. “Yeah hi Mama Chu? This is Renjun, can I please get one tangsuyuk, one jajangmyeon and whatever mandu special you’ve got today…yes I know that’s more food than I usually order, I have someone over…no it’s not a special lady friend…just bring me my food.” Renjun tapped his phone aggressively to hang up and shoved it back into his pyjama pocket. Noticing Jaemin’s raised eyebrows he explained “The old lady who runs the Chinese restaurant knows me pretty well.”

Jaemin believed it considering the amount of takeout containers he’d just thrown out. “Why’d you order me food?”

“You said it was the middle of the day, I figured you’d want lunch. We can work while we eat.”

It was true that Jaemin was hungry, but that feeling was overridden by confusion at Renjun’s consideration.

“I’ll get dressed and then we can start” Renjun said to Jaemin before walking back down the hall.

Once Renjun was out of sight Jaemin slumped against the kitchen counter and thought about what had just happened. “He still could have thanked me for cleaning his damn house” he mumbled to himself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was 9:30pm by the time Jaemin got home. As he kicked off his shoes he planned to fall face first onto his couch; only to find that it was already occupied.

Jeno was sitting on the couch with a very cute girl in his lap. The two were (rather enthusiastically) making out and didn’t notice Jaemin’s presence until he cleared his throat loudly, causing them to spring apart from each other.

“Jaem” Jeno spluttered out. “I thought you were working tonight.”

“Nope I’m just getting home late from Renjun’s” Jaemin corrected.

“Who’s Renjun?” Jeno asked cheekily. “Did you finally manage to get yourself a date?”

“Renjun is Dr Huang” clarified Jaemin. “I just spent eight hours looking over every single theoretical proposition and mathematical equation he’s written down over the past three months.”

“Oh” Jeno was disappointed. “That’s the opposite of hot.”

“I’m Yena by the way” the cute girl spoke up, clearly frustrated by the lack of attention.

“I’m Jaemin, it’s nice to meet you.” Jaemin smiled as best he could in his tired state.

“She’s the date I had two nights ago” Jeno explained.

Jaemin was slightly impressed. “Good for you man. Having two dates in a row with the same girl must be some sort of record for you.”

Yena looked shocked while Jeno gave his best ‘What the fuck dude?’ expression. Jeno laughed nervously and said “He’s just joking Yena. That’s the kind of friends we are, right Jaemin?”

Jaemin laughed too. “Yeah I was joking. Jeno’s the real commitment type.”

Yena didn’t look convinced but Jaemin wasn’t going to stick around long enough to care. “You two have fun tonight. I’m going to go pass out in my room. See you tomorrow Jen.”

“Wait” Yena spoke up before Jaemin could leave. “If you’re looking for a date I have a friend who wants me to set her up with someone. If you’d like we could double date. She’s cute, I promise.”

Jaemin didn’t really want to but Jeno’s expression was wordlessly communicating “you owe me one”. With an exasperated sigh he said “Yeah sure, why not.”

“Great!” Yena looked very happy. “I’ll organise it with Jeno.”

“Cool” Jaemin mumbled. “Goodnight.”

It only took two seconds after Jaemin fell onto his bed for sleep to come. In his slumber he dreamt of an alternate universe where he was a secret agent tasked with capturing the evil genius Renjun before he blew up Switzerland with his giant death ray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! New chapter should be up in a week or so. Please leave helpful criticisms or writing tips.


	3. It absolutely could not possibly be

Three weeks had passed and Jaemin was back at Renjun’s apartment. All the filing had certainly paid off. Not only did Jaemin now have something to work on for his doctoral thesis, Renjun’s kitchen table and home office were no longer a fire hazard. The only problem was that Renjun forbid Jaemin from taking any of his notes out of the apartment for security reasons so Jaemin had to do all his work at Renjun’s place, which had led to some expected tension.

Jaemin was sitting at the dining room table trying to balance a pesky equation. Renjun was standing in front of a whiteboard mulling things over while eating sushi out of a container. Once he was finished, he chucked it down on the floor and began erasing some notes on the whiteboard with his fingers. After weeks of politely (sort of) asking Renjun to change his bad habits, Jaemin had enough.

“Seriously Renjun? You really need me to tell you why you shouldn’t throw empty food containers on the floor? Do you even know that you own a garbage can or do I have to tell you where it is?”

Renjun didn’t even look at him. “Last time I checked this is _my_ home Jaemin and that means I can do what I like with it. And yes I know where my garbage can is. It’s next to my fridge.”

“It’s in the cupboard underneath your sink. The thing next to your fridge is the box your microwave came in.”

Renjun finally looked at him. “Last time I checked you can put trash in a box. Instead of whining about how clean I am how about you get back to work, or maybe I need to find another doctoral candidate who knows how to shut up.”

Jaemin angrily got up from his seat. “As if anyone else could tolerate you. I wouldn’t have to whine if you would just let me take some of these folders back to my place and work from home.” He said, gesturing to the beautiful bookshelf of perfectly labelled folders.

Renjun walked up and stood across the table from him. “Your house isn’t secure; anyone could steal those folders and publish my work as their own.”

“Yeah because your place is so secure. Did you get the idea to keep a spare key blue-tacked to the top of the door from the CIA or the NSA?”

“Oh please, most people aren’t smart enough to think of that.”

“Well I bet all those people know where their garbage can is.”

Jaemin and Renjun took a moment to stop yelling and just glare at each other. They’d had other small fights throughout the weeks but this one was by far the most intense. The more Jaemin looked at Renjun, the more he hated him.

And the more attractive he seemed.

Jaemin didn’t understand it. Renjun had a pretty face but it was usually ruined as soon as he opened his mouth. Somehow this time it wasn’t enough. Maybe it was the heat of the moment. Maybe Jaemin had just gotten used to Renjun’s peculiar ways. Maybe he just needed to get laid.

Renjun let out a sigh. “You’ve done enough for today; we can pick this up again tomorrow. You have to go to work soon anyway.”

Jaemin looked at his watch – Renjun was right. “Yeah I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jaemin was surprised that Renjun bothered to remember his schedule.

“Bye Jaemin” Renjun called out as Jaemin walked out the door. He was glad to be leaving and hoped that the next five hours of work would keep weird thoughts about Renjun at bay.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaemin found himself being cornered by Jeno when he got home from work that night. Jeno caught him off guard in their kitchen, almost making him drop the juice carton he was drinking directly from.

“Dude what the hell?” Jaemin exclaimed while choking on juice.

“Yena has been bugging me about that double date, you know, the one you keep saying you’re too busy to go on. She’s getting pissed man and that’s not good for me.” Jeno didn’t look too happy himself.

“What do you want me to say Jeno. I’ve been at Renjun’s almost every day and working most nights. I barely have time to sleep let alone go on a blind date.” Jaemin put the juice back in the fridge. “Also there’s the important fact that _I don’t want to go_.”

“Jaemin you already said that you would go, you can’t back out now.”

“In my defence, I never thought you would still be going out with this girl after three weeks.” Jaemin walked out of the kitchen and towards his bedroom, wanting the conversation to be over. Jeno ran over and blocked him from entering.

“First of all, ouch. Second, you said you would do it so you’re doing it. I know you don’t have work tomorrow night so you’re coming out with me, Yena and her friend whether you like it or not.”

“But Jeno…” Jaemin began but was soon cut off.

“Nope I don’t want to hear it. I want you in this apartment at six o’clock tomorrow, dressed to impress and ready to take two hotties out to dinner. End of conversation, good night and I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, Jeno got out of Jaemin’s way and went into his room.

Jaemin groaned to himself. He really didn’t want to go on this date but tried to look on the bright side. ‘You do need to get laid’ he thought to himself.

This date was going to suck.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaemin was sitting at Renjun’s kitchen table again, finishing up for the day. “Hey Renjun, can you come take a look at these pages before I take off?”

Renjun finished pouring coffee into his mug before walking over to Jaemin. “You’re leaving already?” he asked before taking a sip.

“It’s five o’clock, I’ve been here for six hours” Jaemin stated blankly.

Renjun didn’t respond. He leaned over Jaemin’s shoulder to scan his work, meaning that his neck was positioned right next to Jaemin’s face. Jaemin couldn’t help but inhale the fresh, clean scent coming from Renjun. ‘He must have showered for once’ he thought to himself.

“It all looks good” Renjun said as he straightened up. “You can go, but I thought you didn’t have work on Friday nights.”

“I’m not going to work” Jaemin told him as he got up from his seat. “I have a date tonight.”

“Oh, cool” Renjun responded awkwardly. “Personally I think relationships are an unnecessary distraction that prevents people from achieving true greatness, but good for you I guess.”

“I’m not in a relationship” Jaemin countered. “It’s just this stupid blind date that my roommate’s forcing me to go to.”

“Why go if you don’t want to?” Renjun questioned.

Jaemin sighed. “Because sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to for the sake of friendship. Haven’t you ever done something you didn’t want to do because a friend asked you to?”

“No” responded Renjun incredulously. “I don’t have any friends.”

Jaemin paused, surprised and not surprised at the same time.

“Anyway I hope for your sake that the evening goes quickly. Are you planning on coming over tomorrow?” Renjun asked.

“Yes I think I will. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodbye Jaemin.”

Jaemin couldn’t help but smile as he realised Renjun had willingly engaged in small talk. Maybe he was tolerable after all.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jeno and Jaemin met Yena and her friend outside a subway station. Jaemin rolled his eyes as Jeno and Yena ran up to each other and started making out; leaving him to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Jaemin” he said to the friend. Jaemin couldn’t deny that she was very pretty, but it didn’t do much to temper his bad mood.

“I’m Rachel, it’s nice to meet you” she said back to him. They both awkwardly waited for Jeno and Yena to finish their over-the-top PDA.

Once the two lovebirds finally split apart from each other, Jeno said “Well I’m starving, let’s go eat – your choice ladies.”

“Ooh let’s go eat Western food.” Yena suggested. “There’s a good place just down the street from here.” Without waiting for anyone else’s input, Yena linked arms with Jeno and started walking down the street. Rachel just shrugged her shoulders and smiled softly at Jaemin. ‘Yena must do this a lot’ he thought.

It didn’t take long for the group to reach the restaurant. Once they were seated Yena ordered straight away, not even giving anyone else a chance to look at the menu. After that everyone sat around awkwardly for a moment, waiting for Jaemin and Rachel to interact with each other.

“So Jaemin” Rachel started. “Yena said that you’re doing a PhD in physiology. That sounds cool.”

“It’s in physics actually, but yeah” Jaemin corrected.

“Physics? Wow that must be tough.” Rachel kept the conversation going.

Jaemin shook his head. “I’ve only been doing it for a few weeks so it’s not so bad. I’m pretty good a math so I like the work.”

“Not so bad?” Jeno questioned. “The physicist that he has to work with from the university is a nutcase. Every time Jaemin comes home from that dude’s house he has a new story about how crazy he is.”

“Why are you even in his house?” Yena asked Jaemin.

Jeno answered for him. “He’s a recluse; and he won’t keep any of his work in digital copies or let Jaemin take it outside of his apartment so Jaemin has to keep going back there.”

“Oh my god that’s so weird” Rachel chipped in. “Is he a total hoarder as well?”

“No he’s not a hoarder, he’s just a little messy” Jaemin answered.

“A little messy?” Jeno just couldn’t shut up tonight. “His apartment was completely disgusting until Jaemin cleaned everything for him. What did you say again Jaemin, that you were ‘surprised a family of rats hadn’t moved in and set up a theme park in all that filth’? And the dude didn’t even thank him for it.”

“That’s so rude” Yena tacked on. “Is he one of those genius types who have absolutely no emotions? You know, like a robot with a human shell?”

Jaemin was getting sick of this conversation. “He has emotions; he’s not a robot. He can actually be quite thoughtful.” Jaemin didn’t know why he was defending Renjun so much.

“Well this is the first time I’m hearing about this” Jeno said sceptically.

“What does he do that’s so thoughtful?” Rachel asked curiously.

Jaemin thought for a few moments. “Well he remembers my work schedule and always reminds me to leave on time. And he always buys me food when we’re working at his place.”

“That’s kind of sweet” said Rachel. “Maybe he’s more of an ‘actions over words’ type of guy.”

“Yeah, maybe” Jaemin smiled at her.

Yena scoffed. “Still sounds like a weirdo to me.” At that point the food came, distracting everyone for long enough to change the conversation.

“So Rachel, what do you do?” Jaemin asked politely.

“I’m a nurse” she said proudly. “Actually I learnt from Jeno that one of the doctors I work with is your friend Mark. We’re both work in emergency.”

“Small world” Jaemin commented. “Emergency sounds so stressful; I could never do something so fast paced.”

Rachel laughed. “Well it’s a good thing I’m the nurse and you’re the physicist.”

Jaemin laughed along. “You’re right. The universe is still going to be the same no matter how long it takes me to figure it out. I’ll probably take me my whole lifetime just to figure out it if electrons really do have a completely spherical shape; and that’s just one aspect of one particle.”

Yena yawned. “I don’t know how you do it Jaemin. All that stuff sounds so dull.”

“Oh shut up Yena” Rachel defended. “It’s cool to be passionate about something no matter what it is.”

Jaemin smiled. This girl was alright.

The evening progressed pleasantly. Jaemin had a good time talking to Rachel but didn’t feel that much of a pull towards her. As they left the restaurant, Jeno and Yena briskly walked ahead of them, obviously trying to give them some space.

“I had a good time tonight” Jaemin began, “but I’m really not looking for anything right now” he said as they walked together.

Rachel let out a sigh of relief. “Oh good, I’m so glad you said that. I hate rejecting people.”

“You’re welcome” Jaemin chuckled. “Was I really that unappealing?”

Rachel laughed too and shook her head. “No I had lots of fun with you; I’m just kind of hung up on someone else.” She longingly stared ahead, looking at the smitten couple ahead of them.

Jaemin was confused. “I thought Yena said that you asked her to set you up with someone.”

“I believe my exact words were ‘Yena, let’s go on a date together’. She didn’t take it the way I meant it.”

Jaemin felt bad. “I’m sorry. Seeing them together must kill you.”

“It’s not great” she admitted. “But I’ll get over it. At least I’m not harbouring an inappropriate attraction to my doctoral supervisor.”

Jaemin stopped in his path. “What? I’m not attracted to Renjun.”

“Uhuh. Sure you’re not.” Rachel said with a cheeky tone before calling out for Jeno and Yena to wait for them. Jaemin kept still for a moment to think of a good response before giving up entirely and jogging to catch up with the rest.

Sure Renjun was very pretty and occasionally did things that weren’t extremely annoying, but that didn’t mean Jaemin was attracted to him.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who else is enjoying quarentine lol? At least it has taken all my excuses away not to pursue my creative goals. I can see this story being a long one so here's hoping the world will be back to normal by the time it's done. Hope y'all are staying safe and sane xx  
> Ps. Also will probably be changing the rating soon to 'explicit' so prepare yourselves for that


	4. Let me give you a Chemistry lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hope y'all are doing well. Some of you may have noticed a rating change on this story. It's just a short scene but I assure you that there is a lot more smut to come (I got you hoes covered). Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far and please comment what you think about it :)

Jaemin and Renjun were taking a break from their work to have dinner. Being able to take breaks to eat was something Jaemin had slowly got Renjun to accept and eventually participate in. The two were lazily slumped on the couch; watching the news as they ate the pizza Renjun had ordered. Jaemin was beginning to think that he should start bringing groceries to the apartment so that he and Renjun could eat a proper meal for once.

Renjun interrupted his thoughts. “So how did your date go last night?”

Jaemin looked over to him with a startled expression. Was Renjun making small talk?

“It was good” he replied very confused. “It went a lot better than I thought it would. The girl was actually a lot of fun.”

“Oh, good” Renjun spoke softly. “Does that mean you’re going to go out again?”

“Why do you care?” Jaemin asked amused.

“We work together. It helps me to know what your schedule is.” Renjun answered curtly.

“Well I’m not going to go out with her again. We just didn’t click that way.”

“Click?” Renjun’s face was scrunched up; puzzled.

“Yeah” Jaemin said as he threw a pizza crust into the box. “Like there was no spark, no chemistry.”

Renjun still look confused so Jaemin tried to explain some more. “Haven’t you ever met someone where you just felt tethered to them and you don’t know why or how, but you just know that you’re connected somehow. Like there’s some flow of energy between you that you can physically feel.”

“So it’s more than just sexual attraction?” Renjun attempted to clarify.

Jaemin laughed at Renjun’s phrasing. “I mean that’s a part of it, but having chemistry with someone is more than that. It’s like sexual attraction but levelled up” he joked. “Have you ever felt that way?”

Renjun paused for a long moment breathing slowly and biting his lip. He turned his body away from the television and looked at Jaemin, making him suddenly very aware of how close they had been sitting together. Jaemin couldn’t help but drop his gaze to Renjun’s mouth – now cherry red from being bitten. Jaemin felt the rush of emotions that was usually brought on during his fights with Renjun, but they weren’t fighting this time. As Jaemin looked into Renjun’s eyes he felt something palpable in the air, like he was being drawn to him.

Eventually Renjun broke the tension and answered his question. “No, I haven’t” he said before grabbing some more pizza and slumping back down into the couch and turned away from Jaemin. Jaemin let the conversation die and returned his attention back to the news, adding this talk to the list of conversations he’s had trying to explain to Renjun what it’s like to be human. The next few hours he spent at Renjun’s weren’t very productive as he desperately tried to erase the moment on the couch from his memory.

Something that proved fruitless.

As Jaemin stumbled into his apartment that night he was surprised (and pleased) to find that Jeno and Haechan weren’t there. It was rare for him to have the place all to himself, and he relished it when he did. After having a very long shower and brushing his teeth, Jaemin tucked himself into bed and tried to unwind. However the memory of what happened at Renjun’s kept popping into his mind and kept him from relaxing. His brain began to wonder what would have happened if he had given in to the tension and just kissed the other man.

Jaemin felt his member swelling between his legs. ‘Fuck it, Jeno and Haechan aren’t home’ he thought. He reached underneath his boxers and grasped his dick, deciding to indulge in this fantasy.

Jaemin worked his length from base to tip and imagined kissing Renjun. He imagined the small gasp Renjun would make as he kissed him unexpectedly. He imagined the moan Renjun would make as he pushed him down onto the couch and slipped his tongue into the other’s mouth. He imagined Renjun reaching under Jaemin’s shirt to run his hands all over his body, and then taking it off completely. He imagined Renjun whimpering as he sucked his neck and how desperately Renjun would grind up against his leg to get some friction.

In Jaemin’s mind, Renjun pushed against Jaemin’s shoulders and motioned him to sit up. Renjun got up off the couch only to sink onto his knees in front of Jaemin and start unbuttoning his jeans. Renjun pulled his pants and boxers down to his ankles, but didn’t have the patience to take them off all the way. He immediately grasped Jaemin’s hard cock and angled it towards his face. Renjun’s small tongue darted out to slowly lick the tip before lowering his mouth and gently sucking on the head. Jaemin, both the one in his bed and the one on Renjun’s couch, threw his head back in pleasure. This spurred Renjun on to take more and more of Jaemin into his mouth, eventually fitting it all in so that Jaemin could feel himself in Renjun’s throat. Jaemin went crazy as Renjun started to bob his head up and down on Jaemin’s dick, making sure to sink down all the way each time.

Jaemin felt his orgasm coming and began stroking himself faster to the image of Renjun sucking his cock. In his head Renjun looked completely debauched with his cheeks hollowed and covered in saliva and precum. As Jaemin was about to come, Renjun let off Jaemin’s dick and started to stroke him hard and fast whilst licking the underside of his shaft. Renjun looked up at Jaemin and stared into his eyes as he worked his cock; and sent Jaemin over the edge into bliss. With a deep groan Jaemin in reality came all over his hand, and in his fantasy came all over Renjun’s face.

Jaemin briefly appreciated the idea of him scooping his own cum off of Renjun’s face with his fingers and feeding it to him, before forcing himself to come back down to earth. Not wanting to consider the implications of what just happened Jaemin quickly cleaned himself up and rode his post-orgasm haze into sleep.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The next day, Jaemin wasn’t surprised to see that Renjun was still asleep when he entered his apartment at midday. He tried not to be too noisy as he carried bags of groceries into the kitchen. Jaemin was relieved to find that Renjun did actually own knives and cookware. Fetching what he needed from the cupboards, Jaemin unpacked the groceries and began cooking his favourite dish: rabokki.

Jaemin was the designated chef of his household. He wasn’t amazing but he was sure better than Jeno and Haechan who could barely cook instant ramen correctly; and was a thousand times better than Mark whose egg frying abilities once made Haechan threaten to break up with him. Jaemin hoped that Renjun would appreciate the home cooked meal, even if it was quite simple.

Jaemin was about to put the finishing touches on his dish when he heard the bedroom door open. “Jaemin?” he heard Renjun call out before he appeared from the hallway. “Oh it is you. What are you doing here? I thought you refused to work on Sundays.” Renjun yawned deeply before resting his elbows on the kitchen counter. After a few blinks Renjun appeared to be finally taking in his surroundings. “Why are you using my kitchen to cook something?”

“Because that’s what kitchens are for” explained Jaemin. “I just thought you would appreciate a home cooked meal since all you ever eat is takeout.”

“That’s very uh nice” Renjun said awkwardly. “So you came here just to cook me food?”

Jaemin admitted to himself that it was pretty weird, but it was Renjun’s fault really. He had made Jaemin feel sorry for him and his inability to function as an adult. Jaemin chose not to answer his question properly and said “I made a fresh pot of coffee as well.” Just as he thought, Renjun was completely distracted by the task of drinking as much coffee as possible in order to wake up.

“What are you making?” asked Renjun in between sips of coffee.

“Rabokki” Jaemin replied. “If you want to grab some bowls we can eat now.”

“Screw bowls let’s just eat it out of the pan.” Renjun actually looked excited. He grabbed two pairs of chopsticks and sat down at the kitchen table. Jaemin followed him with the pan of rabokki, sitting down next to Renjun.

Jaemin smiled widely and Renjun tucked into the food and made small moans of appreciation. “Is it good?” Jaemin asked, finally digging in himself.

Renjun nodded as he slurped up some ramen. “It’s very good. I can’t even remember the last time someone cooked for me. Thanks Jaemin.”

Jaemin was utterly shocked. “Did you just thank me for something?”

“Yeah, so?” Renjun’s voice was muffled as he stuffed his face.

Jaemin let out a short laugh. “You’ve never thanked me for anything before.”

“I’ve never needed to” Renjun said apathetically.

Jaemin raised his eyebrows. “Oh really? Doing your laundry, cleaning your apartment, organising your disaster of a notes system: none of these deserved a thank you?”

“You only did that stuff for your benefit. I was happy with the way things were.”

“You were happy living in filth?”

“It was fine. I don’t need to clean. The only thing I need to do is my work. It is the only thing that makes me happy.”

Jaemin scoffed. “Well it seems to me that you’re pretty happy to be sitting here with me eating a meal I cooked for you.”

Renjun stopped eating for a moment and nibbled on the end of his chopsticks. “Maybe” he mumbled simply before he went back to eating.

Renjun was a bit of a messy eater and Jaemin wasn’t surprised when he saw some sauce on the edge of Renjun’s mouth. “You’ve got some sauce on your lips” he mentioned as he picked up some more food.

“Where?” Renjun asked as he turned to Jaemin.

“There, on your right side” Jaemin pointed.

As Renjun swipe his thumb over his lips and licked it clean, the image Jaemin had conjured last night of wiping cum off Renjun’s face and feeding it to him came slamming back into his brain; causing him to drop the tteok between his chopsticks right onto his white shirt.

“Shit” Jaemin cursed looking at his shirt now covered in sauce. Renjun just giggled beside him. “Oh shut up” Jaemin sneered and got up from his seat. “I’m going to go soak this before it stains. Do you have something that will fit me?”

“I’ll try and find something” Renjun groaned as he got up and traipsed into his bedroom. Jaemin hurried to the laundry and quickly tore his shirt off, throwing it into a bucket of cold water and some stain remover. He reminded himself to buy some more laundry detergent considering how much he had been washing Renjun’s clothes. A small cough made him turn around to see Renjun standing in the doorway holding a shirt.

Renjun was staring at him. More specifically Renjun was staring at his body rather intensely. Jaemin was suddenly very happy that Jeno dragged his ass out of bed every morning to go work out. His muscles had come in quite nicely and for once he was showing them off. The tension between them was back in full force as Renjun raked his eyes over Jaemin’s half-naked form. Jaemin thought back to his fantasy and wondered if he should just kiss Renjun like he’d imagined.

“Here” Renjun held the shirt out to Jaemin. “This shirt’s pretty big on me so it should fit you. I usually just use it to sleep in.”

“Thanks” Jaemin took the shirt and put in on. “You want to go back to the kitchen?”

“No” Renjun refused. “I have a lot of work to do today so you should probably leave.”

“Oh okay” Jaemin was confused. Before he could say anything else his phone beeped at him. He checked it and saw a message from Haechan reading ‘SOS. Meet us at the bar.’

“I have to go anyway” Jaemin said, brushing past Renjun into the hall. “Thanks for the shirt; I’ll give it back to you next time I’m here.”

They didn’t say goodbye to each other as Jaemin left the apartment. On his way to the bar Jaemin couldn’t help but stress about whatever the fuck he was getting himself into.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When Jaemin got to the bar he found Haechan, Mark and Jeno sitting together in one of the booths. Whilst the first two looked relatively sober, Jeno was surrounded by shot glasses, some empty some full, looking very depressed.

“What happened?” asked Jaemin as he slid into the booth.

“She dumped me man” Jeno slurred out.

“Woah Yena dumped you. Why?” Jaemin was a little stunned. It had seemed like Jeno and Yena were all over each other.

Instead of answering Jeno just groaned and took another shot. Mark answered for him. “Apparently she left him for one of her friends. It was actually the girl you went out with – Rachel. Turns out they were both in love with each other but thought the other didn’t feel the same way.”

“Oh my god, that’s great” Jaemin blurted out without thinking.

Mark and Haechan glared at him in amazement. Jeno stared at him with shocked eyes. “Dude what the fuck? This chick just ripped my heart out.”

Jaemin rolled his eyes at Jeno’s dramatics. “Sorry but when we were on that date Rachel told me about it and it seemed like she really loved Yena. If they’re in love you should be happy for them. You were only going out with her for a few weeks anyway.”

“You knew?” Jeno cried out. “How could you not tell me?”

“It seemed like Yena was really into you so I didn’t think there was anything to worry about” Jaemin defended himself.

Jeno groaned and dropped his head onto the table. “That’s it; I’m never trying monogamy again. It was a stupid idea in the first place.”

“Don’t say that, Jeno” soothed Mark. “Monogamy’s great if you have the right person.”

“Yeah” Haechan agreed, snuggling into Mark’s chest. “Also at least you were getting laid; that’s way better than whatever the fuck Jaemin’s been doing these past few weeks.”

Jaemin sighed and took one of Jeno’s shots. “Please, don’t even start today.”

“Woah, what’s up with you?” Mark asked.

Jaemin ran his hands through his hair, debating whether to include his dumbass friends in his inner turmoil. Finally he relented, wanting some sort of advice. “I think I want to fuck Renjun.”

“Renjun?” Jeno slurred. “As in your crazy PhD supervisor Renjun?”

“Yep that’s the one” Jaemin confirmed.

“Why on earth would you want to sleep with the guy you’ve been complaining about for the past month?” Haechan was equally surprised.

“I don’t know” Jaemin whined. “He’s very pretty, and lately we’ve been having these moments.”

“What kind of moments?” Mark asked.

“Like we’ll look at each other and it gets all intense and hot and weird, and all I want to do is get him naked and do things that will make his eyes roll into the back of his head.” Jaemin ranted.

Haechan snorted. “Someone’s been looking through the ahegao category way too much.”

Jaemin just answered with a fake laughed and his middle finger.

Ignoring Haechan, Mark asked “Isn’t it highly inappropriate for you to have that sort of relationship with your superior?”

“I don’t think there are any rules about it” Jaemin answered, “but essentially yeah.”

“More importantly, do you think he wants to fuck you too?” Haechan asked in his gossiping voice.

“I don’t know” Jaemin whined again. “The way he looks at me sometimes makes me think that he does, but then he gets all distant and basically kicks me out. Like today I was over there and I spilt some sauce on my shirt, so I took it off to get the stain out and he was staring at my body for a good few seconds.”

“Probably because I take your lazy butt to the gym every day” mumbled Jeno, head still on the table.

Jaemin glossed over him. “But then he told me I should leave because he had too much work to do. I know what kind of work he does. It’s not like he has a deadline or anything.”

“Hmm, maybe he’s just really shy” Mark contemplated. “You said he’s a reclusive weirdo. He probably doesn’t know how to express what he wants very well.”

“Or this is completely one sided and these moments you’re talking about are all in your head” Haechan stated bluntly.

Jaemin’s shoulders drooped. “You’re probably right. All the guy does is work; I doubt he cares about hooking up with people.”

“Bullshit” Jeno finally lurched up from the table. “Everyone wants to get laid no matter how much of a freak they are.”

“Guys what do I do?” All this contradictory information wasn’t helping Jaemin in the slightest.

“Don’t do anything” Mark advised. “You shouldn’t be sleeping with this guy anyway; it could risk your PhD.”

“Just ask him to fuck” Jeno said way too loudly in his drunken haze. “What’s he going to do, say no to orgasms?”

Neither of those seemed like good options to him.

“Why don’t you just spend some more time with him?” Haechan suggested. “If one of those moments happen again you can just make a move, and if he doesn’t respond well just apologise and never mention it again. You should be able to go back to the way things were. And if he does respond well then you get to fuck him.”

Well that sounded interesting to Jaemin. “Yeah Haechan wins this competition for best advice.”

“You’re going to regret this” Mark responded.

“Dude how can sex make things bad?” Jeno drunkenly questioned.

Mark dropped his head into his hands. “I am surrounded by idiots.”

As Jaemin was laughing at Mark, his phone chimed with a notification. He pulled out his phone to see an email for Renjun, which he opened immediately.

_To Jaemin_

_I request that you no longer come to my residence to complete your thesis work. From now on ask for any notes of mine you need via email and I will scan and send them to you. I trust you will use a high quality security and encryption program on all your devices. Please keep your contact with me to a maximum of once per week if you have questions or want me to check your work. More contact than this is unnecessary._

_Regards_

_Dr Huang_

Jaemin stared gobsmacked at his phone until Mark asked “Jaemin, what’s up?”

“Renjun just asked me not to come to his place anymore” Jaemin said, still staring at the email.

“Oh, I’m sorry man” Mark responded.

“He’s even breaking his rules about security and is going to send me stuff through email so he doesn’t have to see me.” Jaemin couldn’t comprehend it.

“Maybe you were coming on a bit strong” Jeno mused. “Maybe Haechan was right about it being one sided.”

“Yeah…maybe” Jaemin struggled to accept.

“Well at least this solves your dilemma” Haechan tried to make him look on the bright side. “And he did annoy you a lot. You were always cleaning up after him and he was always insulting you. Now you don’t have to deal with that anymore.”

“You’re right” Jaemin decided. “This way is much better.” Jaemin stole another one of Jeno’s shots and slammed it down.

Jeno just smirked before waving his hand towards the bar. “Hey Charlie, we need some more drinks over here!”

“You have to work tomorrow” Mark reminded him.

“Oh stop being a buzzkill” Haechan said as he reached over the table to steal a shot, only to have his hand smacked away by Mark.

“I need you to help me carry their drunk asses home” Mark said pointing to Jeno and Jaemin. “There’s no way I can manage the three of you all by myself.”

Haechan grumbled as Charlie brought more drinks to their table.

Jaemin ignored the bickering couple, opting to drown his sorrow and confusion in alcohol.

‘This is a good thing’ he told himself. ‘Going after Renjun would have been a mistake.’

Jaemin took another shot.


	5. I'll give you what you want (and you'll never know it's what you need)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys hope you're having a good week. Just a quick warning that this chapter is almost completely smut so read at your own risk lol

Jaemin respected Renjun’s wishes. The morning after the night at the bar, Jaemin replied to Renjun’s email and requested the notes he needed. He didn’t ask any questions about why Renjun suddenly decided he didn’t want to see him anymore, and when Renjun sent him the scanned pages he didn’t even reply with a thank you.

Jaemin didn’t like working from home. It was bad when he worked with Renjun; the guy was nearly impossible to be around. Renjun was always blunt and inconsiderate, and he never appreciated anything Jaemin did for him. When Jaemin was trying to work at Renjun’s he was often distracted by the other: either because he was being a complete tool or inadvertently doing something that made Jaemin want to bang him. However now that Jaemin was working at home he was distracted all the time.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Renjun.

Though most people thought physics was insufferably boring, Jaemin had always loved it and never had difficulties spending many hours to solve a problem. This was the first time he found himself staring at pages blankly or having to reread the same equation over and over again. In two weeks he was yet to complete a meaningful amount of work and he’d had enough.

He needed to go see Renjun.

It was already 10pm but Jaemin felt determined not to wait any longer. “I’m going out” he told Haechan as he walked past him in the kitchen to the front door.

“Where are you going at this hour?” Haechan asked as Jaemin was putting on his shoes.

“Out” Jaemin repeated.

“You want to try being vaguer?” Haechan smirked.

Jaemin ignored this. “I’ll see you later” he said as he opened the door and left.

The subway ride to Renjun’s was short but it allowed enough time for Jaemin’s emotions to stew. For the past two weeks he was mostly confused and upset, but now he was angry. Leaving out his attraction for the other, Jaemin had felt like he and Renjun were legitimately becoming friends. For Renjun to just cut him off like that was so rude and hurtful. Jaemin wanted an explanation and Renjun was going to fucking give it to him.

As Jaemin marched up to Renjun’s door he considered knocking, before deciding to screw social niceties and just give Renjun a piece of his mind. Jaemin opened the door, prepared to see Renjun, but was surprised to find that the lights were all off and he wasn’t in the living room.

‘That’s weird’ thought Jaemin. ‘He should be awake still.’ Jaemin crept down the hall and saw a soft light coming from Renjun’s bedroom, the door left slightly ajar. As Jaemin walked quietly towards the door he heard something muffled coming from the bedroom. He listened more attentively and blushed when he heard it again.

It was a moan. Renjun was moaning, very sensually, in his bedroom.

Jaemin knew this was a huge breach of privacy but he couldn’t help it. He pushed the door open slightly more, luckily not making a sound, and peered through it.

Renjun was wearing only a shirt, lying on his back on the bed with his head in the pillows. His legs were spread out; bent at the knees with his feet flat on the bed so that Jaemin could see everything. Renjun’s eyes were closed and soft whimpers came out of his open mouth as he thrust two fingers in and out of his hole. Jaemin was still taking it all in: Renjun’s hard length lying against his stomach, the bottle of lube that was next to his feet, the squelching sounds that were made every time Renjun thrust his fingers into himself. It was almost too much to handle.

Jaemin was rock hard inside his pants; making the boy very uncomfortable. He glanced down at himself and pressed his palm against the bulge, trying to ease his discomfort.

“Jaemin”

Jaemin’s eyes snapped back up, sure he had been caught, but Renjun’s eyes were still closed and his fingers were still moving.

“Ah please, Jaemin, more” Renjun spoke again.

The realisation hit Jaemin like a freight train. Renjun was thinking of him while masturbating.

“Deeper Jaemin, your cock is so good” Renjun kept moaning, his delicious sounds making Jaemin lose all sensibility. He opened the bedroom door and walked in.

Renjun’s eyes opened at the noise. “Jaemin!” he screamed out and shot up into a sitting position, pulling the shirt down and covering himself with in.

Jaemin recognised that shirt. It was his shirt, the one he’d left in Renjun’s laundry so it wouldn’t stain. It was now hanging off of Renjun’s body, way too big for him and way too sexy for Jaemin to comprehend.

“You’re wearing my shirt” he said dumbly.

Renjun ignored that. “What are you doing here? I told you not to come over here anymore.”

“Is this why you told me not to come over?” Jaemin walked closer to the bed.

“Get out!” Renjun ordered, pointing to the door.

“You want me” Jaemin kneeled on the bed.

“No, I don’t” Renjun said unconvincingly.

“Just tell me the truth” Jaemin commanded loudly. “Why did you want to stop seeing me?”

“Because you were ruining everything!” Renjun cried out. “Because of you my productivity was down by more than thirty percent this month. You and your stupid, handsome face and body and smile kept distracting me from my work. I had to get rid of you.”

Jaemin looked at the other for a moment before speaking. “You stopped seeing me because you’re attracted to me” he realised. “Well this doesn’t look very productive to me, _Dr Huang_.” Jaemin said, slightly tauntingly. “This looks like you were fucking yourself with your fingers and moaning for my cock.”

Renjun gasped and Jaemin’s dirty language and couldn’t stop a small moan from escaping from his mouth. Jaemin smiled at that and grasped Renjun’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting Renjun’s face up so he had to look in his eyes.

“Tell me you want it and I’ll give it to you.” Jaemin leaned in close so that his breath fanned over Renjun’s face. “Tell me you want me to fuck you and I will. I’ll fuck you as hard as you want. All you have to do is ask.”

Renjun’s breathing got heavier and heavier as Jaemin spoke to him. He was obviously very conflicted about what to do but when Jaemin dragged his thumb slowly over Renjun’s bottom lip, it broke him.

“I want you” Renjun whispered. “I want you to fuck me. Please fuck me Jaemin.”

Jaemin didn’t need to be told twice. He reached around to grab the back of Renjun’s neck and smashed their lips together. Jaemin instantly made it filthy, licking his way into Renjun’s mouth as soon as possible and moving their tongues together. Renjun was so pliant and cooperative, taking whatever Jaemin gave him. Renjun in bed was so different to Renjun at work; and Jaemin loved it.

Jaemin usually liked to go slow with his partners but he had waited too long to be with Renjun. He pushed Renjun down onto the bed and began to kiss down his neck and stomach till he reached his dick. Without a word of warning Jaemin grasped the length, put his mouth on it and began to suck.

Renjun was obviously surprised by the sudden advancement and let out a startled cry which was quickly replaced with loud moans. The sweet noises Renjun made spurred Jaemin on to suck harder, causing Renjun to run his hands through Jaemin’s hair and pull slightly. After a minute of hard sucking Jaemin felt Renjun grip his hair tighter and whimper out “Jaemin, I’m going to…”

Jaemin quickly pulled off Renjun and gripped the base of his dick hard to stop him from coming. “Not yet baby” he cooed. “We’ve got so much more to do before you can come.”

Renjun looked both frustrated and excited by Jaemin’s words. “O-okay” he stammered out.

Jaemin smiled at him and grabbed the lube next to them. He slicked two of his fingers up before rubbing them gently against Renjun’s hole. Slowly he pushed one finger inside, finding little resistance due to Renjun’s earlier doings.

“Jaemin” Renjun gasped out at the sensitivity.

Jaemin smiled. “You’re already loose from playing with yourself. Don’t worry, I’ll give you more.” Jaemin inserted another finger, thrusting them slowly in and out of Renjun to tease the other boy to no end.

“Jaemin please” Renjun whined. “I need more.”

Jaemin chuckled and kissed the inside of Renjun’s thigh. “Of course baby, I’ll give you anything you want.” Jaemin rubbed his fingers around inside of Renjun till he found the special place he was looking for.

“Holy shit” Renjun cried out when Jaemin touched his prostate. The profanities continued as Jaemin added another finger and continued to fuck him with them, making sure to hit his prostate every time. Jaemin could tell Renjun was getting close again from the way his back was arching violently off the bed, so he withdrew his fingers. He got up off the bed and rid himself of all his clothes. He grabbed the bottle again and started lubing up his insanely hard dick.

Renjun looked so sexy lying on the bed in his shirt. His breathing was heavy, his eyes couldn’t focus and he was biting his lip in anticipation. Jaemin couldn’t wait to see what he looked like with a cock inside of him.

Jaemin positioned himself between Renjun’s legs; gripping his thighs and hoisting him up so that his legs were around Jaemin’s waist. He grabbed his length with one hand and gently stroked Renjun’s hole with the tip.

Renjun looked like he was about to go insane. “Jaemin c’mon just fuck me already.”

Jaemin took the order and slowly pushed past the ring of muscle and slid right into Renjun. Renjun opened his mouth and let out a silent cry as Jaemin entered him. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” Jaemin asked, slightly concerned.

“Just gimme a minute” Renjun breathed out. “You just feel really big.”

Jaemin gave Renjun time to adjust until the other boy gave him a nod to get going. Jaemin pulled out to the tip before slamming back into Renjun. The high moan Renjun let out was more than enough for Jaemin to keep going, picking up a decent pace and fucking Renjun hard. Renjun was so tight around him that Jaemin was seeing stars, and the intense moans Renjun kept making were sending him to another plane of existence.

Jaemin quickened his pace, wanting to see if Renjun could scream any louder, and noticed that Renjun’s eyes were rolling towards the back of his head.

‘I am so going to tell Haechan about this’ Jaemin congratulated himself.

“Oh my god Jaemin, I’m going to come.” Renjun yelled out to him.

“Just hold it a little longer baby” Jaemin encouraged. He pulled out of Renjun and gently placed his legs back down on the bed. Renjun made noises of complaint as Jaemin rolled him onto his side and lay down next to him so Renjun’s back was against his chest. Renjun moaned as Jaemin entered him again.

“Do you feel how deep I am?” Jaemin asked Renjun, lips against his neck.

Renjun nodded but didn’t say anything.

Jaemin smiled and kissed his neck before starting to thrust again. Soon enough Renjun’s head fell back onto Jaemin’s shoulder and he was just as noisy as before. Jaemin held Renjun’s face and tilted it slightly so that he could connect their mouths, kissing him intensely as he fucked him as hard as he could. It all felt so good: his tongue in Renjun’s mouth, his dick in Renjun’s ass. Jaemin was severely regretting not doing this earlier.

“Jaemin” Renjun whined into the kiss. “Please let me come.”

Jaemin hummed into the kiss before breaking it off. “Alright baby you can come; do you need me to touch you?”

Renjun shook his head before dropping it back onto Jaemin’s shoulder. Jaemin watched his face as he came with a loud cry, ropes of white spilling onto the bed and his stomach. Renjun didn’t stop moaning as Jaemin continued to hammer into him, chasing his own release.

“Come in me” he said between moans.

“Fuck you’re so hot” Jaemin said against Renjun’s neck before he came, pushing his cock in as deep as he could. He shallowly thrust a few more times, fucking his cum into Renjun as much as he could before stilling. He wrapped his arms around Renjun and held him tightly against his chest as he came down from his high.

“I can’t believe you tried to cut me out because you were attracted to me” Jaemin said against Renjun’s neck.

“I can’t believe your dick is inside me” Renjun said back to him sleepily.

“Do you want me to pull out?” Jaemin asked, running his hands over Renjun’s hips and butt.

Renjun nodded. “Yeah, we should probably get cleaned up at some point. There’s wipes in my top drawer.”

Jaemin kissed Renjun’s shoulder sweetly before pulling out slowly, trying not to lose it when he saw his cum leaking out of Renjun’s ass. Quickly he pulled the wipes out of the drawer and cleaned himself off before running the wipe over Renjun’s stomach, thighs and hole. When Jaemin was satisfied with the result he turned off the lamp on Renjun’s bedside table, plunging the room into darkness, and scooted back into the bed with Renjun. He threw the blankets over the both of them and pulled Renjun against his chest: spooning him.

It was quiet for a few seconds before Renjun hazily mumbled “Jaemin”.

“Yeah” he responded, feeling quite sleepy too.

“Goodnight” Renjun said quietly.

Jaemin broke out into a huge grin. “Goodnight” he reciprocated, before drifting off into a beautiful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter. Just a few sexual health things I think need mentioning because I'm not sure of the age or sexual experience of the people reading this story and don't want to give anyone the wrong idea. Sorry if it's TMI for some people.  
> 1\. If you're having vagina and penis intercouse or anal and penis intercourse ALWAYS USE PROTECTION unless you have seen test results from someone saying they are clean and they are someone you can definitely trust not to be sleeping around with other people.  
> 2\. If you do have anal without a condom and they come inside you, immediately after sex you need to do your best to get their come out of you. Using a douche is best but if you google it you can find some good methods.
> 
> What Jaemin and Renjun do in this chapter is not practicing safe sex but it probably won't be addressed in-story so I wanted to make that clear here. 
> 
> New chapter should be up next week :)


	6. Let me breathe you in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI this is just smut. That's it. Just more smut.

Jaemin was woken up to the feeling of someone kissing his neck and palming his crotch. Slowly he blinked his eyes open to see Renjun lying next to him, causing the events of the previous night to rush back into his head.

He and Renjun had sex. They’d had really hot sex and now they were waking up together.

As Renjun began to suck on his neck and took hold of his dick, Jaemin’s mind had to stop freaking out and get back to the task at hand. “Good morning” said Jaemin as he stifled a moan.

Renjun stopped sucking Jaemin’s neck. “Good morning” he replied sweetly as he started to move his hand up and down Jaemin’s length. It took all of two seconds for Jaemin to get completely hard.

Jaemin rolled onto his side so that he was facing Renjun and kissed him, softly at first but quickly ramping things up. Kissing Renjun this way felt almost as dirty as sex; the way their tongues moved together and saliva smeared on their chins. Jaemin could make out with him for hours, but Renjun seemed to have other things in mind.

Renjun broke their kiss and panted slightly against Jaemin’s mouth. “Do you want to do it again?” he asked breathlessly.

Jaemin smiled and kissed him. He hummed in agreement as he grasped Renjun’s hard length and started stoking the other too. Gently he reached around Renjun’s body and started massaging his butt, eventually making his way towards his hole and dryly rubbing against the rim.

Renjun let out a soft moan and wriggled closer to Jaemin to give him more access.

“Hang on a sec” Jaemin said before looking around the room for the bottle of lube and eventually finding it on the floor. He reached down to get it and coated two of his fingers before snuggling back up against Renjun; reigniting their kiss.

Renjun was still a bit stretched from last night so Jaemin dipped one finger in with ease. He quickly added a second then a third, sensing how antsy Renjun was to get things going again. Jaemin found Renjun’s prostate almost immediately and abused in till Renjun was a crying mess against his chest begging for his dick.

“Roll over onto your stomach” Jaemin whispered in Renjun’s ear. Renjun complied as Jaemin threw the sheets off them and knelt up. He lubed himself up before kneeling over Renjun with both of his knees outside Renjun’s thighs. “You ready?” he asked Renjun as he spread the boy’s cheeks apart, watching his hole twitch in excitement.

“Please” he heard Renjun whine against the pillow his face was currently buried in. Slowly Jaemin pushed his cock into Renjun’s heat, moving forward until he was completely seated inside him. Jaemin groaned in contentment as he felt Renjun’s tightness surround him.

A small “move” from Renjun brought Jaemin’s focus back as he started to grind himself, deep and slow, into Renjun. Jaemin was incredibly satisfied with the small whimpers it drew. After a few minutes Renjun wanted more.

“Please Jaemin, I need it harder” he moaned out.

Jaemin was more than happy to oblige. “C’mon baby, ass up” he ordered; smiling when Renjun arched his back deeply and giving Jaemin the access he wanted. Jaemin gripped Renjun’s waist and began to thrust hard, pulling Renjun back onto his cock as he thrust forward. Jaemin thought about how wonderful it was to have this much control over Renjun’s body as he fucked his cock into him mercilessly. He had so much pent up frustration from weeks with Renjun, and without him, and last night had only scratched the surface of it. Fucking Renjun felt so good, not just for the obvious reasons, because all the tension and stress Jaemin had felt was melting away. It felt right for them to do this, as if it were the natural conclusion of their relationship.

Jaemin continued to fuck Renjun with hard thrusts. Jaemin was learning that Renjun was very vocal in bed. In that moment he was biting into a pillow to stifle his ever increasing moans. Eventually he took his mouth off the pillow and gasped out “Jaemin I’m going to come.”

“Me too” Jaemin grunted out between thrusts. He gently laid his body over Renjun’s, holding himself up on his elbows so he didn’t squish the other boy. He sped up his thrusts as much as he could and commanded Renjun to come for him.

And he did.

As Renjun cried out as he came, Jaemin reached his peak too. He thrust deep inside Renjun and came, moaning out Renjun’s name as he did so. As the orgasm rocked through his body Jaemin fully collapsed on top of Renjun and began to breathe heavily against the boy’s neck.

“Jaemin get off of me” Renjun whined underneath him.

“Sorry” Jaemin mumbled as he dragged himself up off of Renjun and collapsed onto the bed next to him. His sudden pull out made Renjun gasp at the loss. Next to him, Jaemin gently stroked his fingers up and down Renjun’s spine.

Jaemin’s post-sex happiness was disrupted by his phone ringing. Renjun rolled over to his back. “What the fuck is that?” he said hazily.

“It’s my ringtone, someone’s calling me” Jaemin explained as he got up off the bed and grabbed his pants up off the floor.

“Tell whoever it is to fuck off” Renjun said in an annoyed tone.

“Oh I intend to” Jaemin agreed as he took his phone out of his pants pocket and saw that it was Haechan calling him. As soon as he accepted the call a voice shrieked out at him.

“Where the hell are you?”

“Why do you care?” asked Jaemin as he rubbed his eyes.

“Why do I care? You go out last night, not telling anyone where you’re going, and you don’t come home this morning. I thought you were dead or lost or something.”

“I got… distracted” Jaemin said as he stared at Renjun who was now getting off the bed and walking over to him.

“You got distracted? What does that mean? Where did you even sleep last night?”

“At Mark’s” Jaemin lied as Renjun knelt down in front of him.

“C’mon Jaemin, that’s not even a good lie. You think I don’t check with my boyfriend when one of my friends goes missing?”

Jaemin couldn’t answer anymore as Renjun started gently licking the leftover cum off his dick. Jaemin groaned loudly at the filthy sight in front of him. “Renjun” he breathed out involuntarily.

“Oh my god” said the voice through Jaemin’s phone. Oh right, Haechan. “Are you with Dr Weirdo? Are you having _sex_ right now?” Haechan hissed at him.

“Haechan I’ve gotta go, I probably won’t be home till later.” Jaemin managed to gasp out.

“Make that tomorrow” Renjun suggested as he licked Jaemin’s cock.

“Yeah probably not till tomorrow actually” Jaemin said into his phone before hanging up and throwing it onto the bed. He pulled Renjun by the arms off the floor and into a kiss. “What has gotten into you?” he said as he broke the kiss.

“What? You’ve never been with a horny scientist before?” Renjun chuckled as he kissed Jaemin’s neck and chest.

“Not one that’s usually so adverse to people” Jaemin answered.

“I get sexually frustrated just like everyone else. When my own hand doesn’t cut it, there’s a guy in the geology department that’s usually down for some quick sex. Then I can get back to work.”

Jaemin frowned slightly. “So am I your new geologist?”

“You’re different” Renjun mumbled against his chest.

Jaemin grasped Renjun’s chin and tilted his face up to look him in the eyes. “Different how?”

“I don’t know.” Renjun kept his eyes down. “Usually I feel satisfied after sex, but with you I don’t feel release.” He finally looked up at Jaemin, “I just want to keep fucking you over and over again.”

Jaemin lent down and kissed him, keeping it slow and sensual. Before things could heat up too much he stopped them. “We should have a shower and wash these sheets.”

“Why” Renjun let out in a long whine.

“Because both we and the sheets are covered in cum” Jaemin bluntly explained. “You get in the shower and I’ll put the sheets in the washing machine. I’ll join you there after I’m done.”

Renjun pouted but complied and left the bedroom. As Jaemin pulled the sheets off the bed he could hear running water in the distance. Hurriedly he threw the sheets and laundry detergent into the machine and went to the bathroom. Renjun was in the shower running a bar of soap all over his body.

“Here let me” Jaemin said as he got into the shower, taking the soap from Renjun. “Turn around; I’ll wash your back.”

Renjun nodded and turned around, dipping his face into the stream. Jaemin diligently lathered the soap over Renjun’s back and then put the bar down so he could massage him. Renjun hummed in pleasure as Jaemin’s fingers dug into his back. Jaemin slowly made his way from Renjun’s shoulder, down his back and to his ass. Jaemin massaged the globes gently as he asked “Did you clean yourself yet?”

Renjun shook his head. “No I was just about to when you came in.”

“Let me do it” Jaemin said before giving a quick peck to Renjun’s neck. He gently pushed Renjun forward so that his body was in the stream, washing all the soap off him. “Hold yourself open for me” he directed Renjun.

Renjun reached around behind himself and pulled his cheeks apart so Jaemin could see his hole. He took in a sharp breath as Jaemin pushed two fingers into him. Jaemin encountered no resistance as he inserted his fingers, he’d stretched Renjun enough already, and began to work out the cum that was still inside Renjun. He tried not to let it affect him, but seeing so much cum, _his_ cum, flow out of Renjun made Jaemin incredibly turned on. He started to rub his fingers hard inside Renjun, finding his prostate easily and massaging it.

Renjun gasped in surprise and immediately moaned afterwards. He placed his hands on the wall in front of him for support. “Jaemin…” another moan, “I thought you wanted to shower.”

“I do” he said as he milked Renjun’s prostate and jacked himself to full hardness. “But we can have some fun while we do, if you want to.”

Renjun looked over his shoulder to Jaemin with his eyes half-lidded. He bit his bottom lip and quickly nodded. “Please just stick your cock in me already” he begged before turning his head back around. Renjun bent his torso, placed his forearms on the wall and spread his legs; giving Jaemin perfect access.

Jaemin smiled as he withdrew his fingers. With one hand on Renjun’s hip and one hand on his dick Jaemin guided his member to Renjun’s hole; slipping inside easily. Both men groaned loudly at the penetration.

Jaemin’s thrusts were long and hard with a slow pace. He enjoyed the way Renjun’s butt jiggled as he crashed into him. With the stream of water coming from the showerhead and Renjun’s absolute sexiness, Jaemin’s body was feeling very hot.

Jaemin usually didn’t do dirty talk with his partners but the way Renjun looked, back arched, legs spread, hands trying to grip the wall with water running all over his body, he felt the words involuntarily spill from his mouth.

“You’re so fucking slutty, Renjun. I’ve never met someone who was so needy for my cock.” Encouraged by the loud moan from Renjun, Jaemin sped up his thrusts and continued talking. “When did you start wanting my cock? Did you want to fuck me the first day you saw me?”

When Renjun didn’t answer him Jaemin spanked him lightly.

“Yes” Renjun gasped out. “I wanted you when I saw you. You were so hot, and I wanted you to fuck me.”

Jaemin sped up his thrusts again. “You should have just got down on your knees and begged for my cock. I would have given it to you. I would have fucked your throat raw and come all over your pretty face.”

Renjun clearly liked that fantasy if the high whine he let out was anything to go by. Jaemin noticed that Renjun was having a hard time holding himself up; his legs were very wobbly and his hands were slipping further down the wet tiles. Jaemin pulled out, spun Renjun around and walked him backwards so that his back was against the cool tiles and Jaemin was in the water. Jaemin grabbed the underneath of Renjun’s thighs and easily lifted him up. Instinctively Renjun wrapped his legs around Jaemin’s waist as he was lifted. Once Renjun was in position Jaemin re-entered him. He threw his head back and rested it against the wall as Jaemin fucked up into him. Jaemin loved this position: Renjun was so small and light that it was so fun to do. Jaemin kissed Renjun’s neck until he looked down at Jaemin and connected their lips in another filthy kiss. The concept of bliss had never applied to anything Jaemin had done before; but in that moment he could only think of the word ‘blissful’.

Jaemin felt his release approaching but wanted Renjun to come first. He made sure to press Renjun up against the wall enough so that he wouldn’t fall and used one hand move in between them and start stroking Renjun’s dick. At the touch Renjun broke the kiss and moaned loudly; he came only a few seconds later. Pleased; Jaemin thrust fast and hard into Renjun until he reached his peak, pulling out to come over Renjun’s thighs and stomach. Gently Jaemin placed Renjun back down onto the ground, making sure to hold his waist in case his legs gave out. After a few moments to catch their breath the boys smiled at each other.

“Come here” Jaemin said as he pulled Renjun back into the stream of water with him. He washed the cum off of Renjun’s body before finally soaping himself up. He turned the water off once he and Renjun were clean and grabbed the single towel off the railing by the shower. He dried the sleepy and satisfied Renjun off before quickly running the towel over his own body.

“We should eat something” Jaemin said as he walked Renjun back to the bedroom to find some clothes. “Do you even have any food here?”

“No” Renjun sighed as he threw Jaemin a clean pair of underwear. “I’ll just order something. You good with Chinese?”

Jaemin hummed in agreement as he dressed himself in the underwear, his pants and his shirt that Renjun had worn the night before. It was weird for them to be so normal, having a conversation about ordering food that they’d had a hundred times before, except now they had slept together. Jaemin didn’t bring this thought up. The sex was amazing and he didn’t want to make it weird and potentially have Renjun close himself off again.

Renjun dressed himself and left the bedroom to find his phone. Jaemin could hear Renjun ordering from the living room so he followed him out there and plunked himself down on the couch. When Renjun hung up the phone he threw it down onto the coffee table and crawled onto Jaemin’s lap. Instantly Jaemin’s hands smoothed over Renjun’s hips and grabbed his ass, pulling him further forward. Their faces were so close together that Jaemin couldn’t help but brush his nose against Renjun’s in an eskimo kiss.

“The food will be here in fifteen minutes” Renjun’s mouth said against Jaemin’s. He gently lifted up Jaemin’s shirt and ran his hands over his abs. “I know something we can do while we wait.”

Jaemin laughed a little at Renjun’s neediness. “I would love to but we only have fifteen minutes. Besides I already came twice this morning, I don’t think I can get hard again for a little while.”

Renjun wasn’t swayed by this. “I’m sure I can make you come again” he said in a sultry voice. He got up of Jaemin’s lap and knelt down between his legs. Jaemin couldn’t believe he was getting hard again as Renjun unbuttoned his pants.

This was going to be a long day. Long, but awesome.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Renjun did make Jaemin come before the food arrived. Renjun’s mouth was just too good and to top it all off Jaemin finally fulfilled his fantasy of coming on Renjun’s face.

Jaemin learnt very quickly that Renjun was insatiable with him. That entire day and the next morning consisted of them fucking, sleeping and barely eating. Jaemin also had a subconscious challenge for him to fuck Renjun on every surface of the apartment. He particularly enjoyed having Renjun spread out on the dining table: which was the perfect height for him to stand upright and slam into Renjun repeatedly.

Jaemin had never felt like this before. He’d never felt the need to hole up in someone’s house for two days and just have sex. He knew Mark and Haechan did it every now and then but Haechan had always been crazy horny and Mark just didn’t know how to say no to him. Jaemin had forgotten how long he’d been at it with Renjun but he felt no desire for it to stop, despite how tired he was.

He and Renjun were spent on the couch, tangled together lazily. They had just finished another round and were basking in each other’s after-sex glow. Out of curiosity Jaemin looked at the clock.

“Holy shit” Jaemin bolted upright, causing Renjun to grumble at him. “It’s three o’clock. I have to go to work in a couple of hours.” Jaemin got up off the couch and started looking for his clothes.

“Why’re you rushing?” Renjun questioned dazedly.

Jaemin found his clothes and started dressing himself. “I need to go home and get some fresh clothes. I can’t go to work in two day old dirty clothes.” Jaemin started collecting his other possessions that were scattered around the living room. “Besides you can get some work done while I’m gone.”

“Yeah I probably should” admitted Renjun as he also dressed himself. “Next time you’re here you should bring the work you’ve done over the past two weeks so I can check it.”

“Yeah of course” Jaemin said before a thought struck him. Would they keep this up when he got back? Was this the end of his sexual relationship with Renjun? Would they just go back to what they had been before? Renjun had said that usually he just had sex with someone then kept on working, but he also said that it was different with Jaemin. The adult part of him knew that he should just talk to Renjun about it but he was too scared.

“I’m going to go now” Jaemin told Renjun. He wanted to kiss him goodbye however he decided against it. They were just fucking; they weren’t together, so it would be weird.

“I’ll see you later” Renjun replied.

Jaemin just nodded at that at left. On the subway ride home Jaemin kept mulling over everything that had happened with Renjun. He hadn’t thought about what would happen after they had sex and what that would mean for their dynamic together. He hadn’t considered what type of relationship either of them would want with the other. There was so much to contemplate that he probably should have thought of before he went to Renjun’s place that night.

As Jaemin opened the door to his apartment he was greeted by the sight of Haechan and Mark snuggled on the couch.

“Oh he finally returns” Haechan sneered. “How was your sex-holiday with Renjun? Did your dick fall off?”

“I can’t believe you slept with your supervisor” Mark added in a disappointed tone. “Of all the stupid relationship decisions you’ve made this one really takes the cake.”

Jaemin really wished no one had been home. “Okay first of all, my dick did not fall off. Secondly this isn’t a stupid relationship decision because Renjun and I aren’t in a relationship.”

“So what are you then?” asked Jeno, suddenly appearing from the kitchen. “Are you just going to be fuck buddies from now on?”

“Oh good everyone’s here” Jaemin muttered.

“Seriously” Mark tried to bring the conversation back. “What does this mean for you two?”

“Well…umm” Jaemin tried to think of something to say, only to have everyone simultaneously raise their eyebrows at him. “Oh screw you guys this is none of your business anyway” Jaemin huffed and stormed off into his room.

“You’ll have to answer these questions eventually” he heard Haechan yell through his bedroom door.

Jaemin leaned against his door and took deep breaths in and out. He assured himself that he would talk to Renjun when he had the time and the courage.

‘Just do it tomorrow’ he thought. ‘If he wants to stop it’s no big deal.’


	7. I'll show you the world if you say so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING!  
> Hey everyone, hope you're doing well! There are a few things that I think need addressing in this chapter before you read it. Firstly this chapter heavily addresses Renjun's social anxiety and fear of being outside. Although I tagged this story with 'agoraphobia' for people who may be triggered by reading those sorts of scenarios, it isn't clear that Renjun has this condition and most likely won't be made clear by the time I finish writing this. If you think you will get upset by reading scenarios of social anxiety and fears of the outside world then I do not recommend you read this chapter. I will put a summary of the chapter in the notes at the bottom of the page.  
> Along the same lines in this chapter we see Jaemin trying to help Renjun deal with his anxieties. While the methods he uses are somewhat successful for Renjun, it is a cold-turkey approach that would not work for a lot of people and is not recommended by doctors and psychologists. Please don't try to do something like this and listen to professionsals. It is important to note that Jaemin in this story is also ignorant of these issues and doesn't know the best path of action to take.  
> Also this was something I did not realise myself until this chapter, but a lot of this story features Jaemin and his friends drinking heavily on a regular basis. While this is a good plot device for establishing their young and free mentality, it is not a good thing for us to be practicing in real life. Have some drinks (or don't), have some fun, but don't make it a consistant habit. Be kind to your body and mind, and drink responsibly and in moderation.   
> Please let me know if I should flag anything else that I have been writing about. I am aware that I have subconscious biases and blind spots that need to be pointed out to me, and I implore you to do so if you read something like that.   
> Above all please remember to love yourselves and know that you are beautiful inside and out.

When Jaemin returned to Renjun’s apartment the next day it seemed as if everything had gone back to normal. Renjun took Jaemin’s notes immediately and checked through them, commenting bluntly about the small amount of work Jaemin had been able to achieve when they’d been apart. Renjun gave him a bit of feedback and directed him to start working again before turning back to his whiteboard. Jaemin didn’t try to talk to him. He could recognise when Renjun was in work-mode and did not want to be disturbed.

They continued this way for hours until night came. Jaemin looked up from his papers when he heard a sigh from Renjun. “We should stop now” he said. “We’ve done enough today.”

“Okay” Jaemin agreed and started to pack up his things. “Did you want me to come back tomorrow?”

Renjun strolled over to Jaemin, getting right in his personal space. “Well, you could stay the night if you want.”

“Oh” Jaemin was surprised. “I wasn’t sure that you wanted to continue, umm, you know…” he trailed off before finding his feet again. “You were acting like nothing had happened so I just assumed you got all your sexual frustrations out of your system.”

“I didn’t think it would be beneficial for either of us if I jumped you as soon as you walked through the door.” Renjun slung his arms around Jaemin’s neck. “But no, I don’t think I’ve quite gotten rid of my frustrations yet.”

Jaemin placed his hands on Renjun’s waist. “Let me help you out then” he said before hoisting Renjun up onto the table. Renjun let out a small squeak of surprise before laughing and kissing him. Jaemin slotted himself between Renjun’s legs and controlled the kiss with ease, keeping it slow and intense. Something about being with Renjun like this made all the tension bleed from his shoulders and all his worries melt away. He felt like they physically fit each other so perfectly. Renjun’s small body was always so easy to hold in his arms.

Renjun began unbuttoning Jaemin’s pants and pushed them and his underwear down to his mid-thighs. Gently Renjun grasped Jaemin’s dick and began working it to full hardness. Jaemin peppered soft kisses all over Renjun’s neck and softly stroked his thighs. When Renjun deemed Jaemin was ready, he took off his shirt, lay back onto the kitchen table and allowed Jaemin to take off his pants and underwear. As Jaemin bent Renjun’s naked legs to give him better access he saw something intriguing.

Renjun had a butt plug inside him.

“Hmm what do we have here?” mused Jaemin as pressed his thumb against the base of the toy.

Renjun gasped at the sensitivity. “I knew I would be impatient by the time we stopped working, so I prepped myself for you.”

Jaemin groaned at his words. He slowly pulled the plug out partially and moved it back inside, loving the whines that came out of Renjun’s mouth. “You’re so good for me” he said before kissing Renjun’s knee. “Do you want my cock inside you?”

Renjun nodded vigorously and shifted himself so that his ass was right on the edge of the table. Jaemin gently pulled the plug out of him and watched in awe as a lot of lube dribbled from Renjun’s hole. “You’re so wet for me, baby” Jaemin said as he smeared the lube around Renjun’s hole.

“Please Jaemin, I need you” Renjun breathed out.

Something about those words made Jaemin so pleased. He loved that Renjun wanted _him_ ; he wanted him so much that he begged for him. He loved that he was making Renjun so needy in ways that no one else could.

Without speaking Jaemin gripped Renjun’s legs and slowly pushed into him. Renjun’s back arched prettily as Jaemin slid inside him. Jaemin was only seated inside Renjun for a few seconds before being asked to move. He obliged Renjun but chose slow, steady thrusts; wanting to draw out the experience for both of them.

Renjun looked ethereal laid out on the table. His body was an expanse of creamy white skin, his chest and cheeks were flushed a pretty pink, his plush lips were apart and moaning. Renjun was glowing in Jaemin’s eyes.

“Fuck you’re so pretty” Jaemin gasped out as he fucked Renjun intensely. “Look at me” he commanded.

Dutifully Renjun drew his eyes from the ceiling and locked eyes with Jaemin. As they held eye contact Jaemin felt something different; as if a new bond with Renjun was being formed. Jaemin draped his body over Renjun’s and brought his mouth to the others. Jaemin kissed like he was fucking: slow, intense and all consuming. Renjun moaned into the kiss beautifully and Jaemin didn’t know what in life could be better than this. They stayed this way for a while before Jaemin broke the kiss to speak softly against Renjun’s mouth.

“You have no idea what you do to me” Jaemin panted. “You’re so insatiable but you’re so pretty that I can’t deny you.” Renjun moaned at the compliment and began peppering kisses all along Jaemin’s jaw.

Jaemin felt his orgasm approaching and an unexpected surge of possessiveness took control of him. “You’ll never want anyone else, will you? I fuck you too good. You’re all mine.”

Renjun’s moans instantly got louder and his head dropped back down to the table. Jaemin could tell Renjun was getting close too; he knew his body so well now.

“Does my baby want to come?” asked Jaemin teasingly.

Renjun with his dazed expression and heavy breath managed to nod to Jaemin’s question. But it wasn’t enough for him.

“Come on baby, use your words” he further taunted.

“Yes, your baby wants to come” Renjun choked out.

Honestly Jaemin hadn’t expected Renjun to play along with his possessiveness, but the surprise gave him so much pleasure. He buried his face in Renjun’s neck before thrusting as hard and fast as he could into the other. Renjun began high whines as Jaemin pounded into him relentlessly. “I’m going to come” he wheezed out.

“Me too” Jaemin breathed out before they came together, Renjun exploding white between their stomach’s and Jaemin coming deep inside him.

They had a few seconds to catch their breath before Jaemin ignited another kiss. Usually their kisses were utter filth but Jaemin kept this one sweet, closed-mouth and lingering.

“That was great” Renjun said as he pushed gently against Jaemin’s shoulders, signalling him to get up.

“Yeah” Jaemin simply agreed as he pulled out of Renjun. He pulled his pants back up and fastened them. He quickly went to the kitchen and wet a cloth before coming back to Renjun. He gently cleaned his thighs and ass; smiling when Renjun whined at the coolness of the cloth. He helped Renjun up off the table and pulled him into his arms, dropping his nose down to the other’s head and smelling his hair. As he held Renjun closely Jaemin realised that the possessiveness had not subsided.

He wanted Renjun to be only his.

“I’m sleepy” Renjun mumbled into Jaemin’s chest.

“Let’s go to bed” he suggested. He grasped Renjun’s hand and led him into the bedroom. As he lay down with Renjun on the bed and watched him fall asleep, Jaemin thought more and more about how he felt.

“I’ve done something stupid” Jaemin whispered to a sleeping Renjun. “I’ve gone and fallen for you.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The next morning Jaemin opened his eyes to the sight of a peaceful Renjun still sound asleep. Jaemin watched Renjun’s still face for a few moments before dragging himself out of bed and putting on some clothes. He was starving; and he knew that Renjun sure as shit didn’t have any food in his house. Jaemin had noticed a café across the road from Renjun’s apartment building many times before, so he decided to give that a try.

After Jaemin successfully acquired pancakes, French toast and coffee from the café he walked back with the food to Renjun’s apartment. After he set the food down on the dining table he checked the bedroom, unsurprised to find Renjun still asleep.

“Renjun” Jaemin said softly as he stroked Renjun’s arm. The boy began to stir and blink his eyes open. He looked a Jaemin with half-shut eyes and mumbled “s’too early” before throwing the blankets over his head.

Jaemin giggled. “It’s ten-thirty, and I brought you breakfast.”

Renjun peeked out of the covers. “What kind of breakfast?”

“French toast, pancakes and coffee” Jaemin answered.

Renjun hummed in consideration before muttering “fine” and throwing the blankets off himself and getting dressed. He followed Jaemin out of the bedroom and sat at the table where Jaemin had laid the food out. Renjun immediately tucked into the pancakes as soon as he sat down.

“Where’d you get the food from?” Renjun asked as Jaemin sat down.

“The café across the street” Jaemin replied for serving himself some French toast.

“There’s a café across the street?” Renjun said with a mouth full of pancake.

Jaemin squinted in confusion. “You didn’t realise?”

Renjun swallowed his food. “Well I never go outside so I’ve probably never seen it.”

Jaemin’s eyes shot wide open. “So wait, you _never_ go outside? As in you never leave this apartment?”

Renjun’s face was blank; clearly not seeing what Jaemin’s problem was. “I don’t need to leave. Everything I need I can get delivered. I don’t have any friends I would want to go out and see, and the few people that want to talk to me come here.”

“But don’t you feel, I don’t know, trapped in here?”

Renjun shrugged. “I like it in here. There’s no distractions, no people. I can just do my work in peace.”

Jaemin got serious. “Renjun it’s not healthy to want to stay inside all the time.” Renjun just shrugged again and continued eating his pancakes.

“When was the last time you went outside?” Jaemin asked tentatively.

Renjun thought for a moment before answering. “It was a dinner with the other faculty members and investors for the university. They forced me to go and talk about my research with these rich people so they’d want to give the university money. Dr Bae literally dragged me out of here. It was an awful evening; every time I tried to explain my research to someone they couldn’t understand it no matter how hard I tried to dumb it down. And when I gave up Dr Bae got mad and me and said I was being rude to the guests. Anyway I think that was two years ago.”

Jaemin had no doubt in his mind that Renjun was rude to those people but chose to focus on the important matter at hand. “Two years?!” he exclaimed. He almost couldn’t believe it. He knew Renjun was a shut-in and was adverse to people but he never imagined it was to that extent.

“You need to go outside” Jaemin decided.

“No, I don’t” Renjun countered. “What’s even out there that is so great?”

“Sunlight” Jaemin suggested.

“That gives you cancer” Renjun dismissed.

“Fresh air”

“I already have an air purifier”

“That’s not the same thing” Jaemin said in disbelief. “How about restaurants? Bars? Shopping malls? Concerts? The beach?”

“I get food delivered, I drink at home, I shop online, Spotify exists and I hate sand.”

Jaemin sighed deeply. There had to be something Renjun would go outside for.

Jaemin snapped his fingers when he thought of something. “You could meet my friends if you went outside.”

“Seriously?” Renjun raised an eyebrow. “You think the idea of meeting a group of people is enticing to me?”

“Hear me out” Jaemin began. “You said you have no friends but we’re friends right? And the best way to get to know me better is through my friends. They’ve all known me for years and they’ll tell you everything about me: the good and the bad stuff. Trust me they’re really nice albeit a little annoying. Plus they really want to meet you.”

Renjun seemed surprised. “Why do they want to meet me?”

“Oh, I just have talked about a few times.” Jaemin tried to downplay his situation.

“Do they know that we’re, umm…” Renjun trailed off.

“Ahh” Jaemin considered for a second whether he should be honest or not, “yeah they know. I didn’t tell them but after I spent two days straight here they figured it out.”

Renjun pursed his lips. “That’s okay, I just never thought about other people knowing.”

“They’re cool about it” Jaemin assured him. “So do you want to meet them?”

Renjun looked down at his food and chewed on his bottom lip, pondering the question.

“Please” Jaemin pleaded. “We’ll meet them at this bar we always go to. It’s pretty small and there’s never that many people inside. I’ll buy you all the drinks you want and if you hate it we can leave right away, I promise.”

Renjun breathed deeply before softly letting an “okay” leave his lips.

“Really?” Jaemin asked excitedly, his eyes lighting up. “Can we go tonight?”

Renjun groaned but laughed at Jaemin’s puppy-like behaviour. “Fine, it means I can get it over with quickly.”

“Great, I’ll let them know.” Jaemin immediately whipped out his phone and sent a message to their group chat.”

_Nana: Oi everyone has to be at the bar tonight. Renjun’s coming. Please try to be delicate with him; he’s not very good with people._

Jaemin received replies almost instantly.

_Fullsun: Wtf we actually get to meet him? I’m so there!_

_Lee Markeu: Wait is this for real?_

_Jenojam: Dude I can’t wait to tell him about that time in high school where you were so nervous to ask a girl to prom that you vomited on her shoes._

_Fullsun: No we should tell him about the time he asked a girl for her phone number while she was clearly on a date with her girlfriend._

_Lee Markeu: Please those both pale in comparison to the time where he got really drunk at that party in freshman year and did a strip tease in front of everyone and dedicated to a dude he’d met 20 minutes before._

Jaemin groaned outwardly before angrily typing.

_Nana: Just be there at 6 you assholes._

“You okay” Renjun asked as Jaemin slammed his phone down on the table.

“Maybe you shouldn’t meet my friends after all.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Jaemin was waiting by the front door for Renjun to come out of his bedroom. “C’mon Renjun, we’re going to be late” he called out to the other.

Renjun shuffled out of his bedroom and down the hall. From a distance he eyed the front door intensely. It reminded Jaemin of old Western movies he’d seen where cowboys challenged each other to a duel.

Jaemin walked up to Renjun and grasped his hands in his. “You’ll be fine, I’ll protect you” he said cutely before bringing Renjun’s hands up to his face to kiss both of them. He was aware he was overstepping the boundaries of their current relationship, but he thought Renjun needed the support. Walking backwards, Jaemin pulled Renjun closer to the door.

“Jaemin I don’t know about this” Renjun said as Jaemin opened the front door.

“You can do this” Jaemin encouraged. “You just have to get it over with, like ripping off a band-aid.”

“Actually the proper procedure for taking off a band-aid is to soak a cotton ball in baby oil and rub it over the band-aid until it gently falls off.” Renjun spoke quickly, showing how nervous he was.

“Thanks for the tip” Jaemin laughed. “But right now all you need to do is take one step outside this door.”

Still holding Renjun’s hands, Jaemin stepped backwards and crossed the threshold; holding his arms out so Renjun could still be inside the apartment. “Just take one step” he reiterated.

Renjun took a few deep breaths before looking into Jaemin’s eyes and taking a step towards him.

He was outside the apartment.

Jaemin’s face lit up in the biggest smile. He was so excited that he gathered Renjun up in his arms, lifted him up and spun around. Renjun giggled at his actions and Jaemin saw the blush on his cheeks when he set him back down.

“I knew you could do this” Jaemin said before kissing him softly.

It took a similar process to get Renjun to exit the building entirely. Jaemin was so sweet and supportive; giving encouragements the entire time. Renjun never let go of Jaemin’s hands throughout, and didn’t let go until they got on the subway.

Jaemin was really impressed. Renjun did look very uncomfortable: he flinched at every noise and examined the people around him closely with a cruel gaze. Even so Renjun was outside and in a crowded area, and he hadn’t once asked to go home. Jaemin felt unbelievable pride and happiness at Renjun’s achievement.

“You’re doing so well” Jaemin murmured into Renjun’s hair before kissing the top of his head. He had been in Renjun’s personal space since they’d left the apartment but he felt like he needed to be, and Renjun didn’t seem to have a problem with it. It crossed his mind that a lot of people might mistake them as a couple, and the thought made him weirdly happy.

By the time they made it to the bar Renjun seemed to have loosened up a bit. He was still eyeing everyone around him but he looked more curious than accusing. Before they went inside Jaemin gave Renjun a final peck of the cheek before finally stepping out of his space; not wanting his friends to give him a hard time. “Are you ready to go in?” he asked.

“No, but I don’t think I ever will be.” Renjun squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before opening them; a determined expression now plastered on his face. “Let’s go inside.”

“Okay” Jaemin said, leading the way in. The bar was pretty quiet as per usual. Charlie waved to him as he entered and pointed across the room to a table where Haechan, Mark and Jeno were seated.

“This place is a dump” Renjun mused as he followed Jaemin.

“This is a dump? Do you remember what your apartment used to look like before I came along?”

Renjun smiled but didn’t say anything as they had reached the table.

“Hey guys” Jaemin said as he and Renjun sat down.

“Yeah whatever Jaemin” Haechan dismissed him rudely. Haechan reached out his hand towards Renjun for a handshake. “I’m Haechan.”

“Renjun” he answered simply, not bothering to shake Haechan’s hand.

Haechan looked pretty peeved and withdrew his hand. The others just looked mildly surprised. After Jeno and Mark introduced themselves the group lulled into an awkward silence.

“So Mark, how was work today?” Jaemin asked uncomfortably, trying to get a conversation going.

Mark sighed and played along. “It was hectic as always but for some reason today was the day that everyone decided to cut themselves somehow. I can’t even remember how many people I’ve stitched up today. This one idiot had this huge cut on his arm from when his friend accidentally cut him with a samurai sword they thought was fake.”

Jeno, Jaemin and Haechan all burst out laughing.

“It’s called a katana.” Renjun’s voice cut through the laughter.

“What?” Jeno asked confused.

“The correct term for a samurai sword is katana.”

“Why does that matter to my story?” Mark was getting annoyed.

“It’s just interesting” Renjun said in a blasé tone. “Besides if you’re going to criticise other people for being stupid then you might want to use correct terminology; otherwise you’ll just be hypocrite.”

Mark’s and Jeno’s mouths dropped open while Haechan just looked furious. Haechan was about to tear into Renjun so Jaemin intervened.

“Umm Renjun, you should get us some drinks. Charlie knows me so he’ll start us a tab.”

Renjun just nodded and left the table. He clearly sensed something was up but Jaemin was unsure that he knew what it was.

“Dude what the fuck? I thought you said he was nice now.” Haechan spat at him.

“He’s nice to me because he’s familiar with me” Jaemin reasoned. “Just give him some time to warm up to you guys and he’ll get better.”

Jeno sighed. “I don’t know man; this seems like an awful lot of effort just to get to know someone who you’re sleeping with. I mean it’s not like you’re dating this guy.”

Jaemin blushed before looking down at his hands.

“Oh my god, are you dating him?” Jeno asked way too loudly.

Jaemin shushed him quickly. “No we’re not dating, but I might want us to be.”

“Seriously?” Haechan was looking at Jaemin like he’d gone insane. “You like that asshole?”

“You just keep going from bad to worse” Mark added.

“Like I said, he’s different around me” Jaemin restated. “Please just give him a chance” he begged them.

His friends all grumbled an “okay” just as Renjun came back to the table with some bottles of soju and glasses.

“Feeling thirsty” Haechan asked dryly.

“These are for everyone” Renjun spoke softly. “I opened a tab under my name. You can get whatever you like.” After a moment of stunned silence Renjun continued. “I’m sorry about how I acted before. I have a hard time knowing what will upset people, and I’m pretty on edge tonight what with being outside and meeting lots of people. Those things are really hard for me so I hope you can forgive me when I do something that offends you.”

The three friends all nodded and gave some small thanks before grabbing some bottles and glasses.

“And I know you’re not an idiot, Mark.” Renjun continued. “Jaemin’s told me what a brilliant physician you are.”

Jaemin was so unbelievably proud that he couldn’t help the wide grin and heart eyes being sent Renjun’s way.

“Jaemin talks about me?” Mark asked.

Renjun poured himself some soju. “He talks about all of you. He tells me all about how Haechan is desperately trying to be famous even though he would be better off teaching music full-time. He tells me about how Jeno finds any excuse not to commit to someone because he still has issues from his parents’ divorce. And he tells me about how Mark is so whipped for Haechan that he’s surprised he hasn’t killed anyone for him yet.”

Jaemin’s faced dropped as did the rest of his friends. This was not the kind of conversation he hoped Renjun would get into. “Haha that’s not what I said” Jaemin tried to play it off.

“Yes it is” continued Renjun, not reading the cues. “I have an eidetic memory. I was just paraphrasing before but if you like I can tell you the exact quotes and the date and time which he said them.”

“Oh that’s not necessary” Haechan spoked through gritted teeth. “Though Mark, I do think I have someone I’d like you to kill.”

“And the last girl I dated was in love with her best friend!” Jeno explained to Renjun. “How is that finding an excuse to end things?”

“Look guys it was just a bit of venting” Jaemin tried to calm them down. “You all do it too.”

“That’s true” Haechan said mischievously. “Actually I think I need to vent to Renjun about _you_.” Jeno and Mark both let of “yeahs” of agreement.

Haechan turned to Renjun. “I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrating it is to see Jaemin try to hit on people. It’s the most cringe-worthy thing I’ve ever seen.”

Renjun giggled before asking “What does he do?”

“He gets all nervous and starts to get sweaty palms” Jeno joined in, “which he keeps rubbing on his jeans to wipe the sweat away, but he does that while he’s talking to people and it just creeps them out.”

It was Mark’s turn to add on. “And for some reason he loses hand-eye coordination. I’ve seen him buy a drink for someone then immediately spill it on them more times than I can count.”

Renjun was laughing a little too hard for Jaemin’s liking.

Haechan wasn’t done yet. “He truly is awful at it. Did you know that before you he hadn’t had sex in eight months?”

“Wow” Renjun gasped out and looked at Jaemin. “You had me thinking you were the smooth-talking, confident type.”

Jeno laughed loudly. “Seriously? How did you pull that off man?”

“Oh shut up everyone” Jaemin muttered before shotting some more alcohol.

The rest of the evening progressed with Jaemin’s friends telling countless embarrassing stories about him; usually about his love life. Though it annoyed Jaemin to no end, he was also very happy to see that Renjun was enjoying himself. As it was getting late Jaemin decided to end their evening.

“It’s getting late guys, maybe we should clear out.”

Haechan smirked. “You just want the torture to stop.”

“Obviously” Jaemin hissed at him. “But we really should go.”

Everyone agreed eventually and headed out of the bar. Jaemin could tell Renjun was feeling tired as his head kept drooping down. “If you’re tired you can stay at my place, it’s just down the street” he offered.

Renjun shook his head. “That’s okay. I’m too tired to have sex tonight anyway.”

“We don’t need to have sex” Jaemin assured him. “You can just sleep over. We can go back to your place tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, okay” Renjun spoke softly, his voice sounding unsure.

As everyone filed into the apartment they all said their goodnights and went off into their rooms. As Jaemin closed his bedroom door he felt a strange surge of excitement. “Do you want a shirt to sleep in?” he asked Renjun.

The other man nodded slowly, his eyes lingering around Jaemin’s room. Jaemin pulled a shirt out of a draw and tossed it to him. As Renjun undressed and slipped it on, Jaemin’s possessive side really liked how it looked on him. Jaemin changed into his pyjama pants and crawled into bed, with Renjun following behind him.

When Jaemin turned the lights off he suddenly felt bold. He carefully threw an arm across Renjun and drew him into his arms. “Is this okay?” he asked tentatively.

“It’s fine” Renjun said as he snuggled closer it Jaemin’s chest. Jaemin was slightly worried that Renjun could hear his pounding heartbeat.

“You did really well tonight” Jaemin praised. “I’m glad you got along so well with them.”

“Me too” Renjun said. “Maybe I could go outside more often.”

Jaemin smiled and kissed his forehead. “I’ll be there for you if you want me to.”

Renjun hummed ambiguously before saying “goodnight”.

“Goodnight” Jaemin responded sweetly.

With Renjun in his arms and happiness in his heart, Jaemin succumbed to sleep quickly and peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER SUMMARY:  
> \- Jaemin goes to work at Renjun's apartment the next day. He thinks that Renjun wants things to go back to how they were before, but is pleasantly surprised when Renjun asks him for sex again.  
> \- That night when falling asleep next to Renjun, Jaemin realises that he has feelings for Renjun.  
> \- While having a conversation over breakfast, Renjun tells Jaemin that he has not been outside his apartment in two years. Jaemin makes it his mission for Renjun to go outside and convinces him to visit his local bar and meet his friends.  
> \- After a lot of coaxing by Jaemin, he and Renjun meet Jaemin's friends at the bar. After getting off on the wrong foot, Renjun and Haechan, Mark and Jeno finally start to get along and bond over embarrasing stories about Jaemin.  
> \- Because Renjun is so tired by the time they leave the bar, he stays over at Jaemin's place. They go to sleep in Jaemin's bed while cuddling.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and I should be uploading again next week. Also to my fellow LGBTQ+ fam (or to anyone who thinks we should have rights, which now that I think about it should be everyone reading this because why would you be reading a gay kpop fanfic if you hated queer people) one of my favourite bands released a very awesome and supportive song that I have been listening to non-stop. It is "satellites* *" by Enter Shikari. Give it a listen if you're interested. Have a great week!


	8. You can't say it but I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, hope you've been having an alright week. This chapter's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster so try and prepare for that. Thanks for all of you who have left kudos, comments and have bookmarked this work. It means a lot to me and makes me extremely happy.

When Jaemin woke the next morning he was still holding Renjun dearly in his arms. Seeing Renjun still curled up against his chest made his heart swell. As he was examining Renjun’s sleeping face, the other started shifting and blinking his eyes open.

“Good morning” Jaemin greeted softly.

“Morning” Renjun mumbled back, still quite groggy. When he turned his head up and looked at Jaemin’s eyes, Jaemin couldn’t help but connect their lips together. He loved the sweet kisses they had been sharing recently. They were so soft and warm; and the sigh of contentment Renjun always made when kissing like this was one of Jaemin’s favourite sounds. He felt so connected to Renjun like this that his made his feelings even stronger.

After he ended the kiss Jaemin asked “Do you want some coffee?”

Renjun sleepily nodded and Jaemin gently moved his arm out from under him and got up off the bed. “It’ll just take a minute to make. Come out when you’re ready.” Jaemin put a shirt on a made his way out to the kitchen where Haechan and Jeno were having breakfast.

“Where’s Mark?” Jaemin asked them as he pulled the bag of coffee grinds out of the freezer and added them to their coffee maker. It was an old machine so Jaemin had to give it a few smacks at the top before it finally started to spit out some liquid into the jug below.

“He had an early shift at the hospital” Haechan answered him.

“That sucks” Jaemin empathised. 

“Is Renjun still asleep?” Jeno asked with a mouth full of cereal.

“Unfortunately no” said Renjun as he sleepily came out of Jaemin’s room. He was still wearing the shirt that Jaemin had given him to sleep in, but he had also found a pair of Jaemin’s joggers to wear. Jaemin smiled at Renjun’s cute appearance from wearing his clothes which were two sizes too big for him. Renjun eventually made his way to Jaemin and rested his head against his arm in tiredness.

The coffee was ready so Jaemin quickly poured Renjun a cup and gave it to him. “Be careful, it’s hot” he warned before pouring himself a cup.

“Thanks” Renjun replied, still resting against Jaemin’s side. All Jaemin wanted to do at that point was snuggle with Renjun on the couch and sleepily drink their coffee together, as he had seen Haechan and Mark do many times.

“You guys are so cute” Haechan said as he put his dirty dishes in the sink.

“Yeah it’s pretty gross” agreed Jeno as he got up and added his dishes to the sink too.

Renjun immediately took a big step away from Jaemin and averted his eyes from everyone. Jaemin glared at his roommates who both just shrugged and went back to their rooms.

“Do you want some breakfast?” Jaemin asked Renjun, trying to move on from Haechan’s and Jeno’s comments.

Renjun shook his head. “I think I should go home now.”

Jaemin sighed deeply. “Is this about what they said? Because you really don’t need to worry about what they think.”

“They’re right though. We’ve been acting a bit too much like we’re in a relationship.” Renjun looked stressed.

Jaemin took a deep breath in, figuring this was a good time to tell Renjun how he felt. “Is that a bad thing?”

Renjun was confused. “What do you mean?”

“What if we were together?” Jaemin asked.

Renjun took in a sharp breath in surprise. “Are you saying you want us to date?”

“Well yeah” Jaemin smiled and stepped back into Renjun’s space. “I like you a lot” he confessed.

“Jaemin I can’t date you” Renjun stepped away again. “It’s already bad enough that I’ve slept with you as many times as I have. I can’t put in the time and energy it takes to be in a relationship, it would affect my work too much.”

“I’m not asking for much to change” Jaemin explained. “We already spend a lot of time together. We eat meals together, we cuddle, we kiss, we have sex. All I want is for you to be mine.” Jaemin looked in Renjun’s eyes longingly. “You already said you were mine a couple of days ago.”

“That was _during sex_ , I was just playing off of your possessive roleplay. I didn’t know you actually felt that way.” Renjun argued.

Jaemin dropped his head down and looked at the ground. This was not going how he wanted it to.

“I’m going to get dressed” Renjun said as he put his cup down on the counter. “I think I should leave.”

Jaemin didn’t say anything or try to stop him. He leaned against the kitchen counter glumly and sipped his coffee. Renjun went to Jaemin’s room and got dressed. He didn’t say goodbye as he walked out of Jaemin’s front door.

Jaemin’s heart yearned as he saw Renjun leave. He’d been rejected by people before but this one was the worst. Jaemin replayed their conversation over in his head and then realised something.

Jaemin slammed his cup down on the counter and quickly sprinted out of his apartment. He ran down two flights of stairs and caught up to Renjun easily. He grabbed the other man’s arm and turned him around to face him.

“Jaemin what are…” Renjun began but Jaemin cut him off.

“Do you like me back?” Jaemin asked, slightly out of breath.

Renjun looked upset. “I already told you I can’t date you.”

“I know” Jaemin replied. “You said you couldn’t date me because of your work, but you never said you didn’t have feelings for me.”

“Jaemin I can’t do this” Renjun said as he moved to keep walking down the stairs. Jaemin quickly darted out in front of him to the step below, blocking his path.

“You never lie. You’re always brutally honest, even if that means being rude and insulting.” Jaemin continued. “You never lie to anyone so that’s why you haven’t said you don’t like me that way, because you do.”

“Jaemin let me leave” Renjun whined, no confidence in his voice.

“Just tell me you don’t have feelings for me and I’ll get out of your way” Jaemin promised.

Renjun just stared into his eyes. His mouth was open but no words were coming out.

“I knew it.” Jaemin smiled before cupping Renjun’s face in his hands and kissing him. Renjun returned the kiss and gripped the front of Jaemin’s shirt as if he needed something to hold onto. The kiss was intense but Jaemin didn’t let it last long.

“I know you’re worried that I’ll take up too much of your time and that you won’t be able to achieve as much as you want. Just give me a chance to show you that I’ll add something to your life rather than take it away.”

Renjun still looked torn so Jaemin spoke again.

“Let’s go on a date” he bargained. “Just one date to see what it’s like, and if you hate it then I won’t ask you again.”

There was a long silent pause as Jaemin waited for Renjun’s answer. His heart was beating so hard and fast he thought it might burst out of his chest.

“Okay”

Jaemin’s face lit up at Renjun’s words. “Really?”

“Yeah, I’ll go on a date with you” Renjun confirmed.

Jaemin kissed him again, unable to contain his excitement. “You won’t regret this” Jaemin promised. “Come back to the apartment and have some breakfast.”

Renjun agreed Jaemin led him up the stairs and back inside. After they ate Jaemin put Renjun in a cab so he wouldn’t have to ride the subway home by himself.

“I’ll pick you up at 7 tonight” he said as he opened the car door for Renjun. His wide smile failed to give off the casual vibes he’d hoped for.

“You don’t have to look so excited” Renjun giggled. “I’ll see you then.”

When the cab had driven down the street and turned a corner Jaemin punched his fist up in the air and shouted “YEAH!”, earning him a very strange look from two old ladies across the road. Feeling self-conscious Jaemin bowed quickly to them and ran back inside his building.

All he needed to do now was plan the perfect date to make Renjun fall in love with him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was exactly 7pm when Jaemin anxiously knocked on Renjun’s door. He shifted his weight side to side as he waited for Renjun to open up.

The door opened to a scowling Renjun. “Why are you knocking? You know where the key is.”

“It’s our first date; I wanted to be a bit more traditional.” Jaemin explained with a nervous smile.

“Oh, so it that why you’re all…” Renjun trailed off as he looked Jaemin up and down. Jaemin had chosen to wear his usual first date getup: a short-sleeved button-up shirt, tanned chinos and loafers. These were considerably dressier than his usual hoodie, jeans and sneakers combo. He wanted to treat his first date with Renjun with the appropriate amount of seriousness, but felt a little silly as he took in Renjun’s even-more-casual-than-casual appearance.

“Do you want me to go change?” Renjun asked, sounding a little annoyed.

Jaemin shook his head. “You look beautiful” he said as he took a step closer to Renjun and hung his head down, brushing his nose against the others. “You’re always the prettiest person in the room.”

Renjun blushed at the compliment but pushed Jaemin away. “That’s because it’s usually just you and me in that room.” Renjun stepped out into the hall with Jaemin and closed his door behind them. “Now are you going to take me out to dinner or what?”

Renjun seemed very tense but Jaemin chalked it up to him still not being comfortable with going outside. He seemed to be confirmed right as he had to again gently coax Renjun through the main door of his apartment block and into the outside world. Renjun was trying his best to act aloof but still squeezed his hand tightly as they walked along the sidewalk.

“Are we going to the subway station?” Renjun asked timidly, eyeing all his surroundings.

“Nah, the place we’re going is just a few blocks away.”

Renjun nodded but didn’t say anything in response. The two walked quietly for some minutes until they got to their destination. Jaemin was nervous about how poorly their date was starting, but hoped things would pick up once Renjun saw the place.

“We’re here” Jaemin said as he stopped in front of a restaurant. It looked a little dingy with its old paint job, tacky dragon stickers on the windows and cheap red lanterns hanging over the doorframe.

“Well this looks lovely” Renjun commented sarcastically. “Do you really think I’m that easy to win over?”

Jaemin chuckled. “Read the sign dummy.”

Renjun finally read the sign in the window which had the name of the restaurant: Mama Chu’s Chinese Restaurant. Jaemin very much enjoyed watching Renjun’s expression morph from disgruntled to shocked. “This is…” Renjun trailed off as he looked up at Jaemin.

“I thought you might want to see what it’s like in real life” Jaemin said. “And I already know we like the food since we order half our meals from here.”

Renjun seemed speechless, which was pretty rare and only usually happened when Jaemin was fucking him just right. Gently Jaemin nudged him forward into the restaurant.

The inside was tiny with only five tables for people to be seated; four of which were already taken. Old artwork was hung up on the faded walls and the smell of sweet and sour sauce lingered in the air. As soon as the two entered an old woman appeared from the kitchen with a big smile on her face. “Welcome, welcome, please sit down.” She directed them to the remaining table and handed them menus as they sat down. “I’m Mama Chu and I’m delighted you came to try our food today.”

“I’ve already tried your food many times before” Renjun informed her.

Mama Chu paused for a moment. “Renjun?” she asked. “Are you Renjun? Have you finally come out of your house to eat at my restaurant?”

Renjun nodded. “Yes Mama Chu, it’s me. I’m glad we could meet face to face.” Jaemin broke into a deep smile; this was exactly what he had wanted.

Mama Chu clapped her hands together in excitement. “It’s lovely to meet you too dear. Is this your boyfriend? The one who you’ve been ordering the extra food for.” Mama Chu gestured towards Jaemin.

“Yes, that’s me. I’m Jaemin.” he replied, still grinning heavily.

“He’s not my boyfriend” Renjun protested. 

Mama Chu ignored him. “You two look so lovely together. Please look at the menus and I insist that you order something that isn’t on the takeout menu.” With that, she flitted back into the kitchen.

“She’s so nice” Jaemin commented as he opened up his menu.

Renjun glared at him. “Why didn’t you correct her when she asked if you were my boyfriend?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, I thought it would be too complicated. What was I meant to say to her? _Actually he’s my doctoral supervisor but recently we started sleeping together and now we’re finally on our first date?_ ”

Renjun gave him one final glare before focusing his gaze on the menu. “I want tangsuyuk” he said after about two seconds.

Jaemin sighed. “She said to order something that wasn’t on the takeout menu; something different. Just try something else.”

“No, if I have to be here I want tangsuyuk” Renjun said like a true brat, huffing as he slammed him menu down on the table.

Jaemin was getting mad. “What do you mean ‘ _if I have to be here_ ’?”

Renjun just sat quietly and began looking at the menu again, ignoring Jaemin completely. He couldn’t understand why Renjun was being so much more of a dick than usual.

When Mama Chu returned to take their order the air was noticeably tense. “Did you decide on what you’d like my darlings?” she asked sweetly but with a sceptical look in her eye.

Jaemin glanced at Renjun who remained quiet and scowling. “Just give us a few dishes of whatever you recommend” he requested. “But can one of them please be tangsuyuk? I know it’s on the takeout menu but it’s one of our favourites.”

At his words, Renjun snapped his head up and gazed in amazement at Jaemin.

She smiled in acknowledgement. “Coming right up.” As she bustled back into the kitchen Jaemin turned his attention back to Renjun.

“I expect you to at least try some of the other dishes” Jaemin directed at Renjun. “I’m sure you’ll like them if you give them a chance.”

Renjun chewed his lip for a moment. “Why’d you do that?”

“You’ll have to be more specific” Jaemin taunted.

“Why did you ask for tangsuyuk when you didn’t want to?”

Jaemin sighed deeply. “Because even when you’re being annoying and acting completely unreasonably, somehow I still just want to make you happy.”

Jaemin appreciated how his words affected Renjun so much. The man gasped softly and quickly looked away, defiantly mumbling about how he wasn’t being unreasonable at all. Jaemin tried to get Renjun to loosen up while they were waiting for their food by asking him to translate all the Chinese calligraphy art that was hung on the walls of the restaurant. Renjun did it somewhat begrudgingly, but Jaemin thought he was making progress.

“You know, you never really talk about China.” Jaemin stated.

“You never really ask about it” Renjun retorted dryly.

“Okay well I’m asking now” Jaemin gave an encouraging smile. “Where did you grow up?”

“Jilin province” Renjun answered, not looking at him. “It’s north-east of Beijing and it borders North Korea. That’s why my Korean is so good; we learn it in school because of where we are and the large Korean community that live there.”

“I was wondering about that” Jaemin commented. “Must get really cold there.”

Renjun nodded. “Yeah it gets freezing in winter, but the snow makes everything so beautiful.”

“Do you miss it?”

Renjun finally looked into his eyes. “Sometimes, yeah. I miss my parents mostly.”

Jaemin didn’t know what to say. He’d grown up in Seoul his entire life and never moved too far from his parents. He couldn’t grasp what to say to Renjun.

“We should go to Jilin together sometime” he blurted out. “Go on a holiday to see your parents.”

“We?” Renjun raised a questioning brow. “Jaemin we haven’t even been on a full date yet. Do you really think it’s a good idea to meet my parents?”

“Probably not” Jaemin admitted, “But maybe in the future. I’d like to see where you grew up.”

They paused in silence for a moment before Renjun spoke up. “Did you grow up in Seoul?”

Jaemin nodded in response. “My parents own a laundrette in Gangbuk so we lived in the apartment above it. I still get to see them pretty often.”

Renjun tilted his head slightly. “Gangbuk? Isn’t that kind of a poor neighbourhood?” he asked tactlessly.

“Yeah, sort of” Jaemin replied. “I didn’t have much growing up, but it wasn’t so bad.”

“How did you get into Seoul University living there? Your high school wouldn’t have had a very good reputation.” Renjun rambled curiously.

Jaemin let out a huff of air. “No I didn’t go to a good high school, but I was smart and tried really hard to get grades that were still good compared to the kids in other districts. My dad even got another job driving taxis at night so there was enough money for me to go to cram school. It was kind of a whole family effort to get me into university.” He laughed a little at the statement. “Anyway I got good enough marks to get a full scholarship for my bachelor’s degree, and then my master’s, so my parents never needed to chip in for that. I just had to work enough to cover living expenses and textbooks and stuff.”

Renjun hummed softly. “I knew you were different from all those other students that approached me.”

“Different in what way?” Jaemin inquired further.

“Whenever students would ask me to be there supervisor, this was when I still worked in my office, they were always so entitled and just assumed I would bend to their will. They would put in no effort when meeting me and just shove their subpar undergraduate papers towards me, expecting me to tell them that they’re fabulous and I want them to work for me. The five misconduct warnings I got from Dr Bae were all because of those brats.”

Jaemin gawked a little. “What did you do?”

Renjun smiled for the first time that night. “Let’s just say I educated them on the real world of science and how ill-equipped they were to navigate it.”

Jaemin smiled along with him. Knowing Renjun that probably meant he undermined each of those students intelligence and cursed them out of his office.

“Well at least I wasn’t the only one to experience your wrath” he chuckled.

“Please, you got off easy” Renjun laughed along. “You were the only one foolish enough to tough it all out.”

“Or the smartest one” Jaemin countered.

Before their banter could continue, Mama Chu bustled out of the kitchen carrying several plates of piping hot food and bowls of rice.

“Here we are my darlings” she cooed and set each dish down onto the table, describing them one by one. “Here we have some char siu bao, soup dumplings, longevity noodles, mapo tofu and of course…” she placed the final plate right into the centre of the table “…the beloved tangsuyuk. Enjoy my dears.” Mama Chu gave them a loving smile before running over to some other customers who had just entered her restaurant.

The smell of all the food had Jaemin’s mouth salivating like crazy and he excitedly picked up his chopsticks. “This looks amazing” he gushed, grabbing a bao straight away. Renjun hummed in reluctant agreeance before spooning some mapo tofu over his rice. The men sat mostly quietly for a few minutes, tasting each dish and savouring the flavours.

“This all seems so authentic” Jaemin said between mouthfuls. “It must remind you of home.”

Renjun rolled his eyes at Jaemin’s comment. “Typical Korean assuming all Chinese foods are eaten all across the country. China’s a big place Jaemin, none of this food is actually from north-east China.”

Renjun successfully made Jaemin feel ignorant as he slurped up some noodles. “Where’s it all from then?”

“The char siu bao and longevity noodles are from the south, the soup dumplings are from Shanghai and surrounding areas and the mapo tofu is from Sichuan province. Apparently Mama Chu is interested in all different types of cuisine.”

Jaemin let out a disappointed ‘oh’ before dropping his head down towards his plate, but looked back up again as Renjun continued to talk.

“Actually the closest thing to food from home is this” he said, pointing at the tangsuyuk. “We have a very similar dish back home.”

Jaemin’s jaw dropped a little (luckily he had swallowed all his food) and he stared at Renjun. “So that’s why you always order it” he gasped in realisation, considering himself a fool for trying to steer Renjun away from it so many times.

Renjun shrugged, “I guess” he mumbled. “My favourite food from back home is hotpot but I can’t get it since I never leave my apartment.”

“We should go there for our next date.” Jaemin proposed.

Renjun raised a brow. “Who says I’ve decided there will be a second date?”

Jaemin let out a sigh. “Not convinced yet, I see.”

Renjun looked to the side, avoiding Jaemin’s gaze. “You really shouldn’t expect me to ever be convinced.”

Jaemin couldn’t help himself. “Well it seems like you’ve made up your mind not to be” he said with a hint of spite. “God Renjun, I thought you were going to try and be open-minded for the whole two hours it takes for us to have this date.”

Renjun instantly reacted to the venom in Jaemin’s voice, locking eyes with him straight away. “All you asked of me was that I go on this date, that’s it. And you said that if I hated it then you would let things be. I must say it almost seems like you _want_ me to hate this date.”

Jaemin scoffed. “Oh please, I’ve said much ruder shit to you before and you haven’t so much as blinked. You’re just projecting, Renjun. You’re worried that you won’t be as brilliant if you’re in a relationship with someone so you’re trying to make this fail.”

Renjun let out a huff in anger. “Didn’t know you had a psychology degree as well. Maybe, Jaemin, you just aren’t as charming as you think you are.”

“I don’t need a psychology degree to read you, Renjun. You’ve never been able to hide your emotions well.”

Renjun seemed to be getting angrier with everything Jaemin said. He slammed his chopsticks down onto the table and got up out of his seat. “Well this date has made it _very_ clear that I don’t need you or any other person to make me happy. Actually all you’ve done tonight is make me very _unhappy_ , so goodnight Jaemin. I expect to see you next week for work only.” He got out his wallet and placed some bills on the table. “This should cover the meal.”

Before Renjun could turn away, Jaemin spoke up. “I’m really sick of you constantly pushing me away. I’m not going to chase after you anymore. If you leave now then that’s it for us.”

Renjun froze for a few seconds, giving Jaemin hope that he was reconsidering, and then briskly walked out of the restaurant. Jaemin’s body deflated as he stared at all the food in front of him and Renjun’s empty chair. This date really hadn’t gone to plan.

So this was really the end for them.

It took a good minute of Jaemin wallowing in self-pity for him to realise that the other customers in the restaurant were all looking at him. He and Renjun hadn’t exactly been quiet so it wasn’t surprising. Before he could awkwardly look away from prying eyes, Mama Chu came bustling over to him, takeout containers in hand.

“Let’s pack this away dear so you can take it home. No sense in good food going to waste.”

Jaemin thanked her and started helping her pack the food up. “Sorry we couldn’t stay to finish the meal.”

“No need to apologise” she said sweetly. “It’s a miracle you got Renjun here in the first place. You must be a very special person to him.”

Jaemin sighed deeply. “Unfortunately I don’t think that’s the case.”

Mama Chu turned her face up in disbelief. “I wouldn’t be so sure. All the delivery boys who were here have seen Renjun hundreds of times, but they all said the first time they have ever seen him smile was today.” She placed a gentle hand on Jaemin’s shoulder. “You might just have to fight quite hard for this one.”

Jaemin nodded and thanked her for the food before getting up from the table and leaving. He felt so defeated with the bag full of uneaten food as he walked down the street to the subway station. He tried so hard with Renjun over and over again, at what point should he just give it up and leave Renjun alone? Sure Renjun had admitted to liking him but he was so relationship adverse that, when Jaemin thought about it logically, nothing could ever work between them.

As Jaemin walked up the steps to his apartment he mulled over the best ways to continue with Renjun from now. Obviously (unfortunately) they would need to stop having sex. Maybe Jaemin could convince Renjun to let him use email and digital copies of notes again so he didn’t have to see him so often. Maybe he should contact Dr Bae and take her up on her offer of getting the next available transfer to Dr Müller’s team.

Jaemin wasn’t really paying attention as he walked through his front door and thus was very surprised by the sight of Haechan sitting on Mark’s lap on the couch with Mark’s hand down the front of Haechan’s pants. Haechan had his eyes closed and was whimpering sensually as Mark kissed his neck harshly and moved his hand on Haechan’s crotch. The two pulled away from each other at the sound of the front door slamming; however it was too late for Jaemin’s eyes and ears.

Jaemin groaned in annoyance. “Seriously?! Am I the only one who doesn’t fuck on this couch?”

Haechan just rolled his eyes. “In our defence, we were essentially promised an empty house tonight. Jeno’s having a dinner date at some chick’s house so we know he won’t be coming home till tomorrow, and we assumed you would be going back to Renjun’s place.”

“Where is Renjun by the way?” Mark asked, having gotten over his embarrassment from being interrupted. “You’ve barely been gone for an hour. Aren’t you home a little early?”

Jaemin didn’t say anything, preferring to let the others fill in the gaps rather than explain the horrible situation himself.

“Oh” Haechan and Mark both said after realising.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out, man” Mark consoled. “Some things just aren’t meant to be.”

Before Haechan could give his sympathies as well, Jaemin said “Look guys I just want to be by myself right now so I’ll be in my room if you need me. Go back to your date.” He gestured towards the couch before spinning around and walking straight into his room, closing the door swiftly behind him.

Landing on his bed face-first, Jaemin tried to quell his thoughts to no avail. Everything about Renjun lingered in his mind. Groaning, he threw his pillow over his face and tried to shut out the world.

Things had to be different with Renjun. He had to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, hope your excited for the rest of this story. I really like this plot idea and hope I can do it justice. If you want to read a completed Renmin fic I have written one previously. It's called 'This Baby is Love-Proof' and is a high school AU if you're into that. Anyway please feel free to leave any suggestions/helpful tips etc in the comments. Thanks for reading!


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